Weight Loss Surgery on Shine

Paging Dr. House... er, no thanks, actually

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I watch House regularly, mostly because I really want to analyze my own (and Cuddy's and Cameron's and Wilson's) co-dependent fascination with emotionally detached men. In last night's episode, the Patient of the Week was a Jillian Michaels-esque infomercial fitness coach who was trying to sell DVDs to The Biggest Loser crowd. During the numerous tests for various exotic conditions that she didn't have, the team was surprised to learn that her stomach was "the size of a shot glass" because she had secretly had gastric bypass surgery. As is the case with House, the big reveal was followed by a commercial break and when we came back, we were treated to her Before picture, with a slumpy, large sweater-wearing fattie. Cue the onslaught of fat jokes from Dr. House, but what transpired is very spoilery, so let's meet up after the jump, ok?

Body of Work: Side effects of weight-loss surgery--an exporter of natural gas

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Some of the side effects of the duodenal switch procedure for weight loss: it is necessary to take vitamins for the...

Body of Work: Two years out from weight-loss surgery

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Exactly two years ago today, I woke up in a hospital room to find that the Democrats had taken the House, and the surgeon had taken a big chunk of my stomach and a long length of my intestines. I've recovered from the surgery, but I still haven't entirely recovered from the physical fact of it--I...

Emails from strangers: Should I get weight-loss surgery?

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I get a lot of emails from people, all of them pretty much universally wonderful. Mostly it is kind words, or continuing a conversation I start with a post, or stuff that is too personal to share in the comments, or providing me with very important information that I had previously lacked (most...

Body of Work: Still adjusting two years after weight-loss surgery

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Come November 3rd, It's going to be two years since I've had weight-loss surgery. I stopped losing weight close to a year ago now, and I've bounced around the same three to five pounds for about that time. For the longest, I waited for the scale to really register some kind of change--it...

Thanks but no thanks: New weight-loss surgery on the horizon

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I have a trick vagus nerve that, when spooked, causes me to faint like one of those pygmy goats. I've fainted from laughing, hiccuping, swallowing an Advil Liqui-Gel, taking a drink of very carbonated soda, and also, from sitting in the front row of a very loud concert (I don't even know...

Body of Work: The unexpected side-effects of weight-loss surgery

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You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to be naked in front of someone. Someone who is not my doctor, or my cat, or my beloved. I'd like to stand up, naked, in front of a completely objective person, and ask them exactly what I look like. I don't want them to describe me in sexual...

Like a Mother's Day card, only slightly longer

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It took me months and months to tell my mother I had gotten weight-loss surgery, and I still regret that. The only reason I emailed her, the morning I was going in, and told her that I had to be operated on, I was okay, I have a stomach ailment, was because my boyfriend at the time told me he...