I had a pretty drastic haircut today; it was several inches below
my shoulders and I got it cut in a layered bob that barely grazes
my chin area. I was looking forward to my new look; my boyfriend,
not so much. He said, "You should keep it long; I don't
like hair that short." I said, "Who cares what you think?
It's my hair!" He said, "Yeah, I know. You should do
what you want with it. You'll still look cute." And,
indeed, he ended up liking my new haircut.
At the salon, I had a conversation about this with the woman who
was cutting my hair, and she told me a story about how she had all
her shoulder-length hair chopped off into a Sharon Stone pixie and
had it bleached blond. Her husband was so mad she slept on their
couch for a week and he didn't speak to her for two more weeks
after that. How horrible is that? Acting like he had some right
over how she styled her hair and making that big of a stink about
it! I wouldn't stand for that!
What about you? Would your partner be upset with you if you got a
drastic haircut, or a new hair color? What about trying a whole new
style of clothing, or changing your makeup look? What would you do
if your partner got upset about your new look? Do you think your
partner would have a right to be upset if you knew they didn't
like a certain look and you tried it? Would you be upset if your
partner tried a new look that you didn't like?
User post: Would your partner be upset if you got a completely new look?
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:20am PDT
Report AbuseOh, and Buffy, I'm sorry, but did you marry your DAD??? Your husband has RULES that you must follow about YOUR hair? Honey, you need to seek some counseling with that dude!! It also sounds like you need to work on your own self esteem here because no one should rule you. You are a grown woman and he's not attracted to you as you are--no matter the outward appearance--then maybe he's not the one you should be with. Sorry, sweetie, just my opinion.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:46am PDT
Report AbuseIf my man went out the door with a full head of hair and came home with his head shaved I would be PISSED. I like running my hands through his hair and it would be weird to suddenly have a bald guy in my bed.
Thus, I would respect it if my man didn't want me to have any sudden, extreme changes in my appearance.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:51am PDT
Report AbuseI'm super lucky when it comes to this. Since I met my husband I've prob had atleast a dozen diff. hair styles and my cloths style changes weekly. Sure he likes some stuff better than other and isn't scared to tell me, but in the end he know he married the ever changing me and is very ok with it!
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:01am PDT
Report AbuseThe day I find someone who tells me not to cut my hair a certain way (or wear a certain type of clothing, makeup or similar) is the day I start looking for a new partner. I like it when my boyfriend has longer hair, but he prefers it short, however I certainly don't threaten to leave him when he gets his hair cut. I think the "shock" of a new makeover lasts, maybe an hour or two. Plus its hair, it grows back. Its not a permanent surgery. What is going to happen in 40 years when your hair naturally thins and goes grey. Will you have to wear a wig to live up to his standard of beauty?
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:23am PDT
Report Abusealphagrl, how is it that you feel like you're in a position to be making assumptions about other peoples' relationships? How can you tell Buffy that she needs to get counselling, when you know absolutely nothing about her?! And for that matter, you also know nothing about me or my relationship and all the factors and considerations that go into it, other than the fact that my husband has a stock in the way I take care of my appearance. And not that it's any of your business, but I do like his input on how I look, because his opinion matters to me. It's sounds to me like you're someone who's not used to considering the thoughts and feelings of others though. Maybe you've lived alone for a long time? Maybe you're a bitter old maid? I don't know, because I DON'T LIKE to make uninformed assumptions about others.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:25am PDT
Report AbuseSorry,but if your with for her hair you need to reevaluate what you want!I can see if she changed to a really drastic change like purple hair and spiked heels, body piecing all at the same time then you might have other issues.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:40am PDT
Report AbuseI actually went out and cut my hair last weekend. It was down to my bra strap in back and I cut it up to my chin in a reverse bob. My husband was actually encouraging my to change my look because he knew it was what I wanted. He liked it so much when I got home he couldn't keep his hands off me. He honestly only cares that what I do with my appearance makes me happy.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:44am PDT
Report AbuseI admit a big change can freak me out though. On our honeymoon my husband decided he wanted to go from having hair that was a few inches long, to a short army-like buzz cut. I totally freaked and over-reacted when he did it because I had always loved his hair and it looked so different! I told him to give me a few weeks and I got used to it. Now I love it and jokingly call him "fuzz" all the time because it's so short.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 7:11am PDT
Report AbuseSome guys just have certain preferences on the way women (and their women in particular... and that's not to say we are their property, just that they are associated with us in most respects) look. Why is it ok for US to be picky on how a guy looks but they can't have prefences? Isn't that a bit of a double standard? I like it when my husband wears his contacts, but he doesn't, he wears his glasses. I like it when he wears his button downs and no hat but sometimes he wears a t-shirt and his hat... I like it when he has his hair short, but he usually keeps it long... He likes me to look a certain way too... it's not that it's mandated, it's just his preference, just like I have mine...
My dad HATED it when I highlighted my hair for the first time, because it was SUCH a huge change (I am a brunette and I had it highlighted blonde) he eventually got used to it and liked it... But I think when people allow HUGE changes to their physical appearance, perhaps the person on the (for a lack of a better word) recieving end of that change may just be scared that your whole personality is going to change as well... Let's face it. We women have a knack to change our hair, our clothes, our skin tone and sometimes as a result we are more confidant and some times our personality can change as a result, even for a little while.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 7:17am PDT
Report AbuseI change my haircut/ color a lot, every few months, I do something pretty different, and usually my husband loves anything I do. Even when I give him a heads up and he doesnt' really like the idea, he always does after he sees it on me. Even if he didn't he would never act like that, or make me feel bad about it, after all it's my hair!
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