I had a pretty drastic haircut today; it was several inches below
my shoulders and I got it cut in a layered bob that barely grazes
my chin area. I was looking forward to my new look; my boyfriend,
not so much. He said, "You should keep it long; I don't
like hair that short." I said, "Who cares what you think?
It's my hair!" He said, "Yeah, I know. You should do
what you want with it. You'll still look cute." And,
indeed, he ended up liking my new haircut.
At the salon, I had a conversation about this with the woman who
was cutting my hair, and she told me a story about how she had all
her shoulder-length hair chopped off into a Sharon Stone pixie and
had it bleached blond. Her husband was so mad she slept on their
couch for a week and he didn't speak to her for two more weeks
after that. How horrible is that? Acting like he had some right
over how she styled her hair and making that big of a stink about
it! I wouldn't stand for that!
What about you? Would your partner be upset with you if you got a
drastic haircut, or a new hair color? What about trying a whole new
style of clothing, or changing your makeup look? What would you do
if your partner got upset about your new look? Do you think your
partner would have a right to be upset if you knew they didn't
like a certain look and you tried it? Would you be upset if your
partner tried a new look that you didn't like?
User post: Would your partner be upset if you got a completely new look?
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Posted by Sun Jun 7, 2009 6:28am PDT
Report AbuseIt wouldn't hurt to talk to your partner about any "drastic" changes you wanted to make before you made them so you can be prepared for any potential negative reactions. But ultimately, it's your look and you should be able to do what you want with it. After all, if it's just hair we are talking about than that grows back.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 12:19am PDT
Report AbuseI have really long hair, and I like having it long, but it takes a lot of time and effort to style it every morning. Sometimes when I'm frustrated with it, I tell my husband that I'm just going to chop it all off, and get a pixie cut. It really freaks him out. He says he'll divorce me if I ever get it cut that short. Everytime I go to the salon, he asks me exactly what I plan on getting done, just to make sure I don't do anything drastic. lol. I think it's pretty funny. I actually like having long hair. But I also like having something to threaten him with if I don't get my way on something. It's good to be able to play the hair card :p
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 12:43am PDT
Report Abusei like my wife's hair long...she gets the stacked bob or whatever too. i don't like it as much. women, i think just look sexier with long hair...she's also sexier when she's happy, and if that's what it takes for her to be happy-so be it. i do things she doesn't like too, but it doesn't change our feelings toward one another.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 1:32am PDT
Report Abuseposh you do not have to like your wife because of her look love from who she is
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:12am PDT
Report AbuseHi all, people dont adapt easy to change, if it makes you feel good why not, he will get used to it or virsa versa. Ure new look doesnt change who u are.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 4:04am PDT
Report AbuseWhen you meet someone you take in what they look like, its unavoidable unless you are legally blind, so you cannot be mad at someone for being a bit shocked when they see you the next day and your totally dressed different, different hair length/color. Its like seeing a new person!
Now,if you can apply that possible shock to an average person/friend, then what do you think it does to someone who is a lover, to see you looking one way and then you show up totally different? I agree with the comment said that a little warning ahead of time can go a long way to making the transition a bit smoother. You cant go out the door as a cowboy and come back in like your in the band Devo. Shock Therapy does not work well for most peoples relationships and I think one of the first things that couples say to one another right before they divorce is that the other person changed. Change IS good, but make sure when your changing that you are ready for the consequences negative/positive and that change can be a catalyst to excitement and also destruction. People are attracted to certain types of people, you cant blame someone for a turnoff, or even justify it because it is thier orientation/attraction. I WOULD change something to please my significant other/spouse. I would keep something CONSTANT if that was what would keep my lover feeling special, SECURE and on track. Hair can be a big issue. You go platinum but your husband likes brunettes and thinks blondes are sluts, you know this but you go blonde anyway.
Why do this trick to someone you love? I consider some changes to be very selfish even though I have had many changes myself. Just consider others, and let them know. Its your life, but when your partnered, they do have a say/opinion. Take Care-Rachel.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 4:09am PDT
Report AbuseI really think that if my husband were going to freak out over a new hairdo of mine, that I'd seriously think twice about getting it. At least try to ease him into it. Thing is, I can't imagine my husband freaking out about my haircut. He has his preferences, but he loves me for who I am, NOT what my hair or anything else looks like. He has said so and has proved it.
My 2 cents worth? Any man that would threaten divorce, sleeping on the couch, or any other drastic measure just because I get a bob, pixie cut, whatever, seems very controling, manipulative, insular and selfish. I din't marry a man like that - thank God!
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 4:24am PDT
Report Abusemy husband has rules for me to follow when it comes to my hair and I respect that because I want to look good for him, and I still want him to be attracted to me
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:12am PDT
Report AbuseIt's YOUR body, it's like when fat women lose weight, the partner gets jealous, ok, as long as you still keep up your looks, cuz men are superficial that way, then who cares, hair will grow back! Sheesh! Wow, I can't believe how these commenting women are catering to what their men want, and not want they want. How idiotic. They'll divorce you if you cut your hair? Hmpf, just wait till you have a baby.
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Posted by Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:16am PDT
Report AbuseHey, Jables, if your husband would divorce you over a haircut, then you need to reexamine your relationship! I can understand a person getting a little upset over a drastic change, but to go to that extreme is unreal!! Everyone has his or her own ideas about what makes a partner "sexy" on the outside; however, isn't it what's on the inside that really counts? Sometimes as women we simply get tired of the same old same old day after day and a change such as a new haircut, color, or make over causes us to feel better about ourselves. And--news flash to all you guys out there--when we feel better about ourselves, it changes our outlook on everything for the better. And YOU benefit!! So, if you are so superficial that you will stop caring about your significant other because they make an outward change, then you need to get a life!! Also, just to throw in one last little thing--I do agree with discussing changes, but ultimately, it's up to the individual. I personally have a short haircut because it flatters my facial shape more than long hair, and I don't like or have all the time involved to care for a longer do. My husband would prefer I let my hair grow out--but in the end, he still loves me as I am.
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