Have you ever dated someone who was still close friends with an ex?
Were there issues that you couldn't get past or did you make it
work? If you haven't, would you consider dating someone who has
an ex as a close friend? Have you ever turned someone down because
of their friendship with an ex?
Edit: I'm clarifying what I mean by 'close
friend'--someone who your prospective partner still spends time
with alone and/or in the company of other friends, talks to
regularly, and may even talk to about their relationship with you,
like any other close friend. I was in this situation myself a few
years ago and it didn't turn out well at all (he talked with
her about our relationship, he would come to her defense and choose
her over me), so I thought I'd ask what others'
experiences/opinions are out of curiosity.
User post: Would you date someone who has an ex as a close friend?
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From the Community…
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:54pm PDT
Report AbuseYou should not prejudice against an ex of the girl/woman that you really want to date. Remember her ex is her past and you are possibly her present and her future. Open your heart and open your mind.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:55pm PDT
Report AbuseIt depends how important a role that person plays in their lives, but in my experience, it doesn't bode so well....
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:57pm PDT
Report AbuseActually i have dated two of my exs best friends and there were never any problems. Guys avoid issues of them dating there exs because they don't want to have that kind of hassle or drama that girls create. Actually i am still dating one of my exs friends for 5 months now and there hasn't been any problem. Me and my ex haven't been the best of friends but we are still civilized.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:24pm PDT
Report AbuseAn ex as a close friend????
sounds like a lot of trouble, more drama causing tension than I would want when starting a new relationship. That's just me though! LOL!
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:31pm PDT
Report Abusewell given that I was best man (yes I am a girl) at my ex wedding to his bride I would say sometimes you have to get over the idea that your boyfriend is friends with his ex lol. I am still very close and still best friends with the ex it doesn't mean that it has to be an issue my husband also understands that my ex and my best friend and he deals with it too and there's nothing wrong with it. or atleast there doesn't have to be as long as the freindship is open honest and there nothing left over of the actual romance.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:34pm PDT
Report Abusei'm saying all of this from experience with my friends and guys i've dated.
only condition that i would date that person is if i get along really well with his ex. i would need to know that i feel ok with my significant other sharing details about our relationship with them. they're not together for a reason, and im dating him not her so that must mean something.
as far as how he would choose her over you though, that in itself is a problem. never choose between your friends and girlfriend. if he automatically sides with her alot and you find it unreasonable, then maybe you should back away from what they share. and just make sure that if you get into the same situation again to not make him make that choice. you came into his life after her. you're there to share your life with him, not change his to fit into yours.
as far as alone. my bf got upset about me being alone with my guy best friend. he feels uncomfortable about it so i chose not to place myself in same situation because when i think about it, i dont want him alone with another girl.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:37pm PDT
Report AbuseI just evaded getting into one of these types of relationships about a week ago. It's just not worth it! You never know how 'close' these friends can be. I told the other person to come talk to me when she's over-and-done with being this close to her ex. Trust me, getting into that sort of relationship will always have you thinking about those 'what if's'.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:02pm PDT
Report AbuseI dated someone who was still a friend to her ex. Because of that she chose him over me in a decision and the results of that we are no longer together.
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:05pm PDT
Report AbuseI've been dating this guy for over a year now, and we have already started planning our wedding and what we want to name our kids. But this guy is also best friends with my first boyfriend and ex, who cheated on me for 4 1/2 of the 5 months we dated. He also ended up dumping me in a note. For the first month that my current guy and i were together my ex was very very unhappy with it, mostly because i was dating his friend only 2 months after he had dumped me. Fortunetly he became actually very supportive of our relationship when he saw how close we had already gotten (this current guy ended up being my 'first'). So dating a guy who has your ex as a friend can't be all bad...usually...
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Posted by Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:12pm PDT
Report AbuseWell my ex is my best friend,and i dont think that should be a problem, for my pressent one, because if we wanted more than a friendship we could have stayed together......so is simple. It shouldnt be a problem for people with a healthy self esteem .........
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