User post: Is it okay for your boyfriend to spend the night at his friend's house?

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  Posted by ♥~♥MaggieRed♥~♥ Wed Jul 8, 2009 4:58pm PDT

  Na ,if he says hes gonna stay at his friends(hes planting on boink someone)!!im sorry for telling you this,you asked the question .

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  Posted by ♥~♥MaggieRed♥~♥ Wed Jul 8, 2009 4:59pm PDT

  i ment" boinking "

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  Posted by BrokenHeartedGirl.com Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:56am PDT

  He doesn't have a car? How do you expect him to get back to your place? If you offer to pick him up, then I'd say that would be fair.

  Is his best friend a girl? Is that why you're asking?

  If you trust him and his friends are guys, then ask him to call you when he returns from the bar.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:03am PDT

  Well, there is something you left out. Has he ever wanted to do this in the past? Or has he done it? While his rationale sounds good (that he's going to be drunk when he gets back to his friend's house) it doesn't make sense since someone has to drive them back to the house and we all know there probably isn't going to be a "designated driver" involved or if there is that will probably change once the fun begins. Ask him why he couldn't take a cab back to your house assuming we are not talking a long distance drive here. It seems to me since you both are living together (and this is where it DOES make a difference) his commitment to you is to return home to your bed, drunk or not. You are not saying he can't go out and have a good time though. Just my two cents.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:03am PDT

  Well, there is something you left out. Has he ever wanted to do this in the past? Or has he done it? While his rationale sounds good (that he's going to be drunk when he gets back to his friend's house) it doesn't make sense since someone has to drive them back to the house and we all know there probably isn't going to be a "designated driver" involved or if there is that will probably change once the fun begins. Ask him why he couldn't take a cab back to your house assuming we are not talking a long distance drive here. It seems to me since you both are living together (and this is where it DOES make a difference) his commitment to you is to return home to your bed, drunk or not. You are not saying he can't go out and have a good time though. Just my two cents.

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  Posted by Ashley Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:03am PDT

  Offer to pick him up from the bar or his friends house. My boyfriend lives with a friend (best friend) and every weekend is like a sleepover there, but I do trust him and know his intentions are good. I think that you should follow your gut. Personally, I don't think it's right; unless they are drinking over an hour away. But, if it's close enough for you to pick him up or get a cab.. Then say that. Don't come off as controling, just let him know how you feel and he should understand. Also, I don't think he is planning on cheating on you. Say you do let him stay the night, tell him you will be there bright and early (8 AM) to pick him up since he can not drive. :)

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  Posted by Anna Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:06am PDT

  i've been with my guy for a year and a half and there are plenty of times when he's slept over his friend's house. if the friend was a girl i'd be pissed, but it's a guy that i know. besides that, i trust him. there are plenty of times when he's had to work weekends or work late, spent time with his family without me, went out of town without me, or slept over his friend's house without me. and not once did i worry. if your really trusted him, you wouldn't get upset. you would have faith in him that he won't stray.

  besides that, if your guy and his buddies are out drinking, do you REALLY want one of them to drive drunk just to get him home to you? i'd rather my guy be safe and sound at someone else's house than dead in a car because i didn't want him sleeping somewhere else.

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  Posted by opiniononly Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:07am PDT

  Sounds to me like he is acting responsibly by not wanting anyone who has been drinking to get behind the wheel of a car. I think you are pretending to cover your mistrust of this situation under the guise of being 'old fashioned', and if you mistrust the situation then on some level (whether you want to accept it or not), you also mistrust him.

  Instead of calling your reaction 'old fashioned', I suggest you think why you are not happy with his plans...and talk to him about that.

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  Posted by DJ Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:13am PDT

  Its not a big deal. If you have no reason to not trust him, you should just let him do it. It seems like this doesnt happen too often and sometimes guys jsut want a guys night out. This doesnt mean he's going to do something "bad". The last time my bf slept over his best friend's house, they did the same thing your bf is saying he's going to do. He and his friend went out to a bar, had some drinks and food, came back to his friends house, played video games, then he later called me when they were going for a late night snack run. He said he had lots of fun and missed me even more <3 Seems like you're having a bit of an insecurity issue (i.e. inside you're thinking if he sleeps over somewhere that means he's going to be sleeping with someone else) so if that's what it is, just ask him to give you a call later that night after he and his friend gets back home. If you would still feel insecure, then its more about a problem in your relationship than just this issue.

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  Posted by Rowdygirl Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:21am PDT

  If he wants to cheat, he'll do it no matter what limitations you put on him. If the object is to be with someone else, he can do that any time of the day. It doesn't have to be when he's sleeping over somewhere else.

  27 and no car? does that also mean no job?

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