TRADITIONS

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  Posted by Jeffery Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:42am PDT

  FIRST OFF LET ME SAY, STAND UP FOR YOUSELF WOMEN, WERE ALMOST INTO THE 20-10'S. IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY OF THINKING AND SEEING THINGS. DEFORE HIS FAMILY GET'S HER YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL AND STAND ON THIS SUBJECT BEFORE HIS FAMILY EVEN GETS CLOSE TO TO THAT WHOLE WKWARD SITUATION. MAKE SURE HE GET'S IT INTO HIS MIND THAT YOU DO YOU HIM, WOULD LOVE TO BE IN A MARRAIGE THAT IS BROUGHT ON BY LOVE AND HAPPINESS, WITH SOME TIME STIRRED INTO THE MIX. ALSO YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO YOU FOR HIM TO BACK YOU UP IN THIS AREA IF, AND WHEN IT COMES UP AT THE DINNER TABLE, CHECK-OUT LINE AT THE SUPERMARKET, OR AS SOON AS THEY SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE.

  OK NOW A GOOD WAY TO GET YOUR MAN ON THE SAME WAVE LENGHTH AND THINKING GRID. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DO SOME GOOD OLE WOMAN CONVINCING WITH SOME SEX APPEAL, TEASING, MAYBE FAVOR OR FAVOR TRADING. WHISPER INTO HIS EAR "JUST HOW IMPORTANT IT WOULD BE TO YOU IF HE WAS ON YOUR SIDE THIS TIME AND IT WOULD MAKE YOU SOOOO GRATEFUL IF HE WOULD BE THAT MACHO, STRONG, BRAVE GUY THAT WASN'T GONNA BE BULLIED OR QUESTIONED BY HIS OWN FAMILY" BECAUSE FIRM TAKE CHARGE KINDA GUY'S TURN YOU ON AND/ OR MAKE YOU HOT. BUT YOU GOT TO DO THIS A FEW DAYS OR WEEKS BEFORE THEY GET THEIR, THAT WAY YOU CAN TEST IT A LITTLE BIT OUT IN PUBLIC SO HE CAN GET USED TO THE WHOLE MACHO MAN BIG HEAD EGO. IT'LL WORK TRUST ME I FELL FOR IN MANY TIMES OVER, WITH ONE OF MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS. MEN LIKE TO FEEL LIKE THEIR THE DECESION MAKERS, THE SMART ONES, AND THE WEAR THE PANT'S IN THE RELATIONSHION. WHEN DAMN WELL MOST SMART MEN ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALL THOSE QUESTIONS. DON'T LET ANYONE HAVE ANY KIND OF PRESSURE, INFLUENCE, OR DESESION OVER YOUR MARRITAL STATUS. I LET THAT HAPPEN MY 1ST MARRAIGE AND WELL I DIDN'T GROW THE NUTS FAST ENOUGH AND KINDA ENDED UP IN VEGAS, SHE WAS 8 MNTHS PRG AND LOOKING LIKE SOMEONE ACTULLY HAD A TWIN-BARREL SHOT GUN POINTED AT THE BASE OF MY NECK. 6 YEARS LATER WISED UP AND DIVORCED. I'M NOW MARRIED AGAIN, WE DID IT A LESS STRESSFUL WAY. GOT MARRIED THEN PREG. SO GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.....

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  Posted by urassismine2 Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:07am PDT

  Okay,..Here it is.. Reality time! The hard truth! You've gotten yourself in a major, major fix, that your trying to smooth out in "your own mind", as something really good, optimal, and stable for your life and the life of a child that your going to have "sole" responsibility of in the near future. Love, Love, love,..doesn't have anything to do with the state and federal laws governing your situation! The guy that has impregnated you is an "illegal alien". You can't ignore that major situation. It is a fact! You knew this, an it was your choice to let that happen. He doesn't have a green card, therefore, he is floating through this society with a get out of jail free card, for "any situation, an your stuck to him because of the coming child. He is the daddy! Your held hostage to his whims, while apprehesive about the future. His parents, are just going on with thier lives, down in mexico, an know that this is his "fix", to deal with. Thats his bottom line. "Reality is a mother duck". He can go back to mexico at a moments notice, without nothing more than a back pack, and some fresh jeans an sneakers! He can leave you here hanging, an never have to worry about paying a dime of child support, or even think of living up to a single solitary promise that he whispered sincerely into your wanting ears. Sometimes women get seriouly "bamboozled" into this idea that everything is going to be "Honky-dorry", especially while they are going through the pregnancy. Afterwards, itsa totally different story. Your scenario is so common. If you don't believe me, call the federal state department, an find out the statistics for yourself. He has the ability to drop off the face of the planet and never be seen again,..at a moments notice, an there ain't a thing that you can do about it. A lot of women get stuck like this, an it hard on the two people left behind, an gets worse because of the mental baggage, that they leave behind...This is a real circumstance, an love is not all its cracked up to be, when your dealing with an "aftermath"...I'm not trying to be harsh or inconsiderate. I really am not. I saw your prior post, about this situation, an now maybe you just really need to understand the other side of the equation...Just a thought..good luck, lady..an blessings..(read my posts)..they might help in some way..

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  Posted by springtime Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:47am PDT

  You need to be thinking about yourself and your baby. His family will probably never know about the baby. It's possible he has another child or two in Mexico. If he is not a citizen, you are out of luck when it comes to child support. He has no obligation to you or the baby. That is the sad reality of your situation. Good luck to you and your child.

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  Posted by krj02004 Mon Nov 2, 2009 1:14pm PST

  Springtime... your legal advice is not true. If he works legally in the United States, then he is obligated to pay child support, regardless of citizenship status. Citizenship and family law courts pretty much run independently from each other.

  I'm sure you didn't mean any offense, but making the comment that he may have other unknown children in Mexico just because he isn't a citizen of this country is not really called for and outside the scope of Alisha's blog. Sorry... ex-husband is a foreigner and I really get peeved when Americans assume every foreigner is trying to abduct your kids or has a secret family. Although that happen sometimes, it doens't happen to the majority of cross-national relationships. i think someone's been watching too many hollywood movies... :).

  Alisha-- why don't you talk to your boyfriend about your concerns about his family and their expectations? You should find out now whether or not he expects the same...

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  Posted by SILENT KNIGHT Thu Nov 5, 2009 11:00am PST

  Expect to take care of you and your baby first and allow any other blessings to be. Anyone else who isn't solution oriented as far as your situation is null and void. Survive the best way you can and hope you get a chance to live. This is less about anybody else and more about your child.

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