Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Things (not) to say during sex

flowchart.jpg
If you've ever wanted a bit of help figuring out what's dirty sexy talk and what's just plain weird, then this
"Things to Say During Sex" flow chart by comedian Doogie Horner may help. He categorizes all dirty talk as either "good," "bad," or "meh" (hilarious example of the latter: "Thanks for that").

More from Daily Bedpost: Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear After a First Kiss


 And each phrase or term fits into a category, from religious to animal noises to swear words to foreign words to--one of our favorites--"rhetorical questions" (you know..."Who's your Daddy?"). So lion noises are good, sheep noises, not so much. And if you wanna rut like a T-Rex, then go for it, according to Doogie, though he recommends skipping the whale sounds. For the record, however, we have to say that dirty talk is largely subjective and most definitely contextual. So while we agree with Doogie that we can't really imagine a situation in which "I rule at f*cking" or "Wanna suck this sh*t?" would go down well (the latter is one of the no-no's in the rhetorical questions category), we're not so sure that we'd completely rule out "Hello vicar."

[Video: Do You Role-Play in the Bedroom?]

Image via Comic Vs. Audience


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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 144
  • Susie's Avatar
    Posted by Susie Wed Sep 3, 2008 10:00am PDT

    LOL....I don't think you should say to your guy' "Are you done yet?"

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  • crysta's Avatar
    Posted by crysta Wed Sep 3, 2008 12:01pm PDT

    LOL what about when the guy ask you did you cum yet i think he should alredy know that.

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  • Susie's Avatar
    Posted by Susie Wed Sep 3, 2008 12:23pm PDT

    LOL....I've never had anyone aske me that....I tend to get kind of loud...they know.......lol

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  • TeeteeT's Avatar
    Posted by TeeteeT Wed Sep 3, 2008 12:25pm PDT

    Hey how bout this one? Did you put it in yet I cant feel it? LOL

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  • irishlas's Avatar
    Posted by irishlas Wed Sep 3, 2008 12:33pm PDT

    I had a guy ask me that also, I mean yeah they should really know, esp cause I also get kinda loud,lol.

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  • princess's Avatar
    Posted by princess Wed Sep 3, 2008 1:16pm PDT

    Just a few nights ago, my b/f kept saying during sex, "I'm so glad I'm a Man!" But, there is one thing that he'll always say: "Ride this d**K baby!" Not too romantic, huh?

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  • STL's Avatar
    Posted by STL Wed Sep 3, 2008 1:21pm PDT

    lol hurry up!

    Report Abuse
  • C-ZAR™'s Avatar
    Posted by C-ZAR™ Wed Sep 3, 2008 1:27pm PDT

    4 WORDS MEN FEAR: IS IT IN YET?

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  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Wed Sep 3, 2008 1:38pm PDT

    buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy rockin every where

    Report Abuse
  • Cherie's Avatar
    Posted by Cherie Wed Sep 3, 2008 1:47pm PDT

    LMAO...or baby I think you are too wet!! How about maybe you are to little!!!

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 144

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