Love + Sex

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by CB Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:59pm PDT

  AMEN! e'en though my ex cheated on me and not me on her...lol. but this is very true. Sometimes women don't do enough pyschologically for the man and he begins to drift. Marriage is an effort, you have to contimually work at it....not think because the ring is on your finger it's a sealed deal. ALWAYS do something exciting to prove you really want him to be happy. Just don't degrade yourself in the process. Excellent blog!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by GTO Judge Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:08pm PDT

  I agree with you to a point. What a woman does to "get" a man, she should do to "keep" him. You can't just take care of yourself, get all dolled up, and have sex 2x a day....then get married and do a complete 180°. That's "bait and switch", and it's not fair to you or your partner.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by springtime Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:17pm PDT

  I have heard women say they did everything for him... laundry, good cook, cared for children, kept a nice home. Great, that is important, but a good maid can also do that. I've heard men say they were good providers, protectors, good listeners. Great. Their fathers probably were, too.

  When someone cheats in a marriage or committed relationship, it's because they have made that choice. No one forced them into someone else's bed. The cheater could have said, " Nope. Not for me. I'm outta here". But he/she did not. There are many reasons people cheat. Some are just hound dogs who follow a scent. But, there are emotional reasons & other issues as well.

  There simply is no such thing as " stealing" someone's wife/husband... unless he/she wants to be taken.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by J Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:41pm PDT

  I agree with you a 100%. My bf's wife was cheating on him and he knew about it! and finally left her sorry azz. I mean he sorry even married her (because she was prego) he stayed because of the kids. After 21 years of marriage he got the balls to leave. I put up with my ex cheating on me and finally had enough.It took me 26 years of it but I did it.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by elle Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:49pm PDT

  How true. Just the other day a friend of mine who hadn't seen her ex in a while bumped into him. They had a couple of glasses of wine and, what she described, as a very romantic early dinner. They spoke about old times and she told him about herself. She said they'd never had this much fun when they were together. They shared so much in common and she felt giggly and was flirting her best. That all came to a complete stop when his phone went off.

  He excused himself for a few minutes and when he returned literally started crying to her about his marriage. She was in shock. He began to tell her how what a huge mistake he'd made marrying this woman and had a son, soon to be 13 years old. My friend went from giddy school girl to being a counselor and began to suggest that maybe that's what he and his wife needed. But all the while he continued to say "no" it's over. So, she asked him if it's over have you filed for a divorce and he replied... Oh "no," I can't do that to our son! I have to stay until he's off to college. My friend graciously got up and told him, "really need to go home to your family." She continued to say how nice it was to have seen him, thanked him for the meal, and left.

  Men... need I say more?

  CB, I know "she" cheated on you. And here's my thought on the whole cheating game... No one is perfect. However, most women and men know when there's something not quite right in a relationship. When you get that feeling - question it. Most marriages do not last because we each go into relationships with unresolved baggage that carries into all relationships. Is it anyones fault? I'm starting to learn that I should not blame anyone and blame everyone.

  Seriously, people who appear too perfect usually carry the most baggage.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by MuNkEY GuRL Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:11pm PDT

  Amen! You can be with someone and still feel all alone in a relationship. You need someone that dose more than cook and clean, you need someone that can talk to you and make your mind work as well.

  And no matter wether the man or woman cheets it's because they need/want something that they are not getting in the relationship they have. Mentally or phycialy. and the other person is not the whome wrecker the person who cheeted on their lover is

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Sweet Cheeks Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:25pm PDT

  I agree 100 percent here with you!

  I am with a man right now as we speak that is married to a woman, that didnt do a damn thing for him, but use him for his money.He was tired, because she didnt cook, clean, or take interest in any of his interests, and when it came to sex, she kept theyre smallest child in the bed constantly as a detterant from sex, and to this very day, the child at the age of 7 tries hard to come and sleep with me,but i tell her no, she is too big to sleep with grown ups.

  I agree here 100 percent, that if you want to keep your man, then do what the heck you are supposed to do!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by joshsmom Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:30pm PDT

  I agree with everything Springtime said.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by S. Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:50pm PDT

  While it is true that the married person has the responsibility of remaining faithful, women should seriously think about their role in having an affair. Remember the Golden Rule? Do unto others... If no woman would ever touch another woman's man, cheating men would not exist. Survival of the fittest, you know.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Alex Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:16pm PDT

  S, you are assuming that all cheaters divulge their marital status...

  Report Abuse