Love + Sex

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Love life or lack of one

My first and only girlfriend was a woman who had asked me for directions to a classroom at a college campus, I later ran into her, struck up some conversation, and in time we started seeing one another more often. Those were great time’s I really enjoyed her company and loved talking to her family; I never had much luck talking with girls so I was happy that things were going so well. In time however things began to slowly get awkward with us, she was distant, frequently cancelled dates, and I could not talk with her family like I used to. At some point in time I had a conversation with her and she informed me that she was mistaken about me; she thought I was her ideal man, but after knowing more about me she realized I was not. I was surprised when she told me that she actually wanted an abusive boyfriend, somebody who would often get angry and have destructive tendencies. After that eye opening speech she broke up with me, I was crushed and embarrassed by what she had told me. It’s funny really growing up my father was like that and I always hated him for it, I swore that I would never be like him and I would always treat my wife right. Yet here I was, turned down by a woman who wanted everything I had hated about my father, she had everything in common with me and I loved her so much. After that things sort of fell apart and she was angry at me and told me never to talk to her again, I have not seen her since but I still think about her everyday.

 

After that I spent a lot of time finishing college and working, and then a friend of mine said he wanted me to meet a friend of a friend who had similar interest of mine. I was still getting over my ex and he thought it would be a better change of pace to meet somebody new. So I uneasily agreed because I had never tried blind dates before so I was skeptical, despite that calls were made and a plan was set. So the weekend rolls around and here I am in the middle of a mall, I waited and passed some time texting a friend or two. As I waited I was approached by a heavy set woman who in advanced had seen my photo, she introduced herself and I did the same as well. I am not superficial or anything but I do not wish to date anyone of that particular size, however it was not her size that bothered me. It was her smell it was a terrible smell one similar to piss and old cheese, I was very close to vomiting because it was so powerful. Despite that I spent the rest of the day with her and we did have some fun, but I told her it would not work out. My brother has told me that I am a bigger man then him for not running as soon as I saw her, but I told him that it would have been very rude to do so.

 

By this time I had finished college got a new job and had not much to do, this time around my mother tells me of a nice woman that works with her at her job. I don’t talk to her about my personal life but she knows I’m single, I later run into this woman at a school festival. I talk to her for a bit and later on my mother tells me she asked her out for me and she said ok, so I went out to dinner with her. We talked, ate some food, and then she had to leave for a wedding ceremony. After that I never heard from her again the only thing I got back was that she felt odd because she ordered a beer and I asked for tea. I don’t drink beer for anyone who is curious about that.

 

Sadly that was my last date with a woman, since then I have had the unpleasant misfortune of, begin laid off from work, never getting called back from other jobs, and living with my mother because I don’t have any money anymore. I have had my ups and downs growing up, but this is the first time I have ever felt like a total loser.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-8 of 8
  • LADYLUCK's Avatar
    Posted by LADYLUCK Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:30pm PDT

    Well you hit a strike of bad luck. Everyone is going through hard times in this economy so your not the only one. That really sucks that you lost your job. Just remember everything happens for a reason. Im sure if you stay true to yourself you will receive a great opportunity. About dating... the best advise I can give you is don't look for anyone. Go out and have fun with friends. I promise you that soon enough there will be someone that sweeps you off your feet. You seem like a great guy and I love how you wrote your blog. Just hang in there. Soon enough it will happen for you.

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  • nicole's Avatar
    Posted by nicole Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:04pm PDT

    I don't know you, but from your post, you sound like a really nice guy. I know it sounds cliche' but hang in there. The right one will come along. And it usually happens when you least expect it. Like princess said, just go out and have some fun, and soon enough, the right one will come along.

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  • u dont need to now's Avatar
    Posted by u dont need to now Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:29pm PDT

    i will like to know will i meet the guy i love on the 24 of october of 2009 of this year please

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  • Lilliz's Avatar
    Posted by Lilliz Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:30pm PDT

    I have a little idea of what you are going thru, having had ups and downs myself. I think maybe you can look at yourself, not changing yourself for anyone but maybe make little adjustments to the way you 'sell' yourself. I had to make a few adjustments in terms of my personal apperance and other stuff. But I know that nothing happens before the right time and that time will come for you.

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  • Danny's Avatar
    Posted by Danny Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:14am PDT

    Seriously, Im tired of hearing this, hang on there you'll find the right one. No, you won't if you just hang in there. You need to get yourself established first and stop putting effort into those who aren't up to your potential. We all get our heart stabbed at at least twice in our lifetime and that experience should not make you feel like a loser. It should motivate you to want better. I am 26, single, attractive, nice lean built, school teacher, masters degree, I live alone and I am a man of faith. However, I too am single! I choose to work on and acheive my personal goals before I devote myself to any women. The point I'm trying to distribute is focus on yourself, not being in a relationship or finding someone. Women love a man that is strong-minded and confident.Don't set yourself short, raise your standards, and have faith in yourself!

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  • Jen's Avatar
    Posted by Jen Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:20pm PDT

    I agree with mceaddyd. Women do love a strong man. By this, I mean strong in heart, mind, body, and soul, I do not mean beat me up and break my heart and soul. Another person should NEVER define who you are or complete your life. In the end, you are who you choose to be. Become who YOU want to be, understand yourself, work on your life goals and becoming a better person everyday. You will believe in yourself more everyday when you stop focusing on what you think should happen but rather the good things that are happening now.

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  • Johnathan's Avatar
    Posted by Johnathan Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:30am PDT

    Thank you all for the replys, sorry if I sound like a pushover or something. I dont have many friends or family to talk to, and every now and then its nice to just vent a little.

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  • lovechildkc's Avatar
    Posted by lovechildkc Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:17am PDT

    Hey sweetie, trust me I understand the bad luck with the opposite sex. I have been there. I am single and its okay for now. I have three kids and a lot of men can't handle that and what they can't handle the most is I don't want any more kid unless the come with the man. Get your life together and things should fall in line. worry about you which is #1. If you are a good man, you will soon have that right one beside you, just watch out don't just fall for any one. what state do you live in and what kind of work are you looking for? if your in kcmo I may have some leads.

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Comments 1-8 of 8

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