Love + Sex

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Joe Hottie: Mutually beneficial

Hey! Joe Hottie here, emerging from an extended hibernation period. Um, and not a moment too soon, judging by some of your comments. (Sorry to have disappointed some of you with the infrequent posting. Forgive me, please?)

But anyway. It has been a while, and I have a lot to catch you all up on. For today, let's talk about how I'm still seeing Coffee Girl (or Coffee Cougar, as my editor is fond of calling her). In a nutshell, things haven't really changed between me and Coffee Girl: One of us will text the other something playful (or downright dirty, depending on the time of night and amount of alcohol consumed). Then, the other person chooses to either return the message or ignore it.

Think about it. It's an efficient and mutually-beneficial relationship, and we've met up about a dozen times. Before parting ways until whenever it is we'll see each other again, sometimes we'll get brunch the next morning and b.s. about our jobs and friends and whatnot. Or we don't. Whatever.

Since neither of us is looking for a "real" relationship with the other person, neither of us is particularly interested in finding out if the other is seeing anyone else. More importantly--at least in my eyes--is that neither of us is hoping to deviate from this routine. It's comfortable, but still exciting and indulging. Plus, it's a nice luxury to have this set-up for when you're out at night and want to hookup without having to chat up someone new.

I'm pretty sure we'll keep doing this until something comes along to jolt us (like if one of us "meets someone"), after which we'll probably part ways and never see each other again. Which admittedly sounds kind of cold, but that's just how these things tend to play out...and I think we're both fine with that. After all, we both know the terms of our sex-based relationship. We're both adults. Oh and she just happens to be a tiny bit older.

As for Jessica, who I know you're wondering about. Wow. There's enough material there to write a novel. Which I will start doing with my next post...so stay tuned.


Posted by J.H.

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  1. 1. Joe Hottie: Mutually Beneficial

From the Community…

Comments 1-8 of 8
  • tito's Avatar
    Posted by tito Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:29pm PDT

    Hey! Joe Hottie here, emerging from an extended hibernation period. Um, and not a moment too soon, judging by some of your comments. (Sorry to have disappointed some of you with the infrequent posting. Forgive me, please?)

    Report Abuse
  • tito's Avatar
    Posted by tito Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:30pm PDT

    Think about it. It's an efficient and mutually-beneficial relationship, and we've met up about a dozen times. Before parting ways until whenever it is we'll see each other again, sometimes we'll get brunch the next morning and b.s. about our jobs and friends and whatnot. Or we don't. Whatever.

    Report Abuse
  • cmarkley67's Avatar
    Posted by cmarkley67 Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:49am PDT

    Just thought you might want to hear what a 42 year old cougar has to say.

    As you've indicated, fwb situations ARE very comfortable, familiar, & convenient. However, it has been my experience that we females, when in long-term sex-only situations, eventually tend to associate sexual chemistry for (dare I say it?)....love.

    Perhaps I'm wrong & this woman is different. Or maybe you should ask yourself if you care enough for this woman to walk away if it begins to look like she's getting in too deep.

    The bottom line it this - whether it's because one person finds someone new or someone catches a case of feelings...most fwb situations are temporary enjoyment & ultimately doomed to end. However, they can be a heck of a lot of fun in the meantime...

    Report Abuse
  • Just a thought's Avatar
    Posted by Just a thought Sat Jul 26, 2008 8:21pm PDT

    I have to agree with cmarkley67...I also being an older woman will have to say that I have just left the same situation and although your relationship is purely sexual perhaps you should make sure that you both have the same lines drawn....

    Report Abuse
  • Nicole's Avatar
    Posted by Nicole Sun Jul 27, 2008 1:50pm PDT

    you can ----- me instead of her? think of that. I'm so horny right now.

    Report Abuse
  • jcka_21's Avatar
    Posted by jcka_21 Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:49pm PDT

    i know a certain situation like that... hhuhuhu..

    Report Abuse
  • Jordan's Avatar
    Posted by Jordan Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:57pm PDT

    yeah, i am in a fwb situation right now & i totally agree with cmarkey67, unfortunately i was the one that caught the feelings...he was clear about our relationship from the beginning...so ladies listen up and take notes....

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  • farra's Avatar
    Posted by farra Mon Jul 28, 2008 5:49pm PDT

    I was in a fwb because he totally was hott but not h$ll no not my type... but he was getting weird so I told him we should start a relationship and that I really like him to get rib of him... It worked and boy am I glad because he was getting on my nerves..

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