Playful, platonic, passionate,
or parental, kisses transmit a surprising amount of information. In
fact, they even play an evolutionary role in fertility. In spite of
the old song, it turns out that a kiss is almost never “just a
kiss.”
In the art and science of romance, there’s nothing more powerful
than a kiss. There’s also little question that when a couple is
trying to start a family, too often that all-mighty kiss becomes
secondary (ok, it’s not really on the priority list at all) to
ovulation cycles, egg dropping, and sperm counts. But that
passionate make-out session you’re skipping may actually be one
very important step in the process of conceiving a child.
It’s now widely agreed that stress can have a negative impact on
fertility, but what’s not so well-known is that kissing may
actually relieve it. “Higher anxiety and depression levels have
been found in both partners of infertile couples,” says Mohit
Khera, M.D., MPH, an assistant professor of urology at Baylor
College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. “Studies have shown that
emotional distress is associated with difficulty in
conceiving.”
And kissing, the all-natural stress reliever, can help. “Relaxing
and cuddling, especially with intimacy, can enhance fertility,”
says Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D., author of From Fatigued to
Fantastic! (Avery, revised 3rd edition 2007). A kiss on
the lips literally triggers the brain to secrete a rush of
feel-good chemicals, including norepinephrine, dopamine, and
phenylethylamine, explains Andréa Demirjian, author
of Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About One
of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures (Perigee Trade, 2006).
Kissing may also be “part of an evolved courtship strategy,”
suggests Gordon G. Gallup, Jr., Ph.D., professor of psychology at
the University at Albany in upstate New York, and primary author of
a study published this past August in the online journal
Evolutionary Psychology. When Gallup and his co-authors surveyed
more than 1,000 University at Albany students, they found that a
greater percentage of men preferred wetter, open-mouthed kisses
than did women, whether early on in a courtship or in a long-term
relationship.
One possible explanation for this difference may be that biology
trumps romance. “A more moist kiss may signal to a male that the
female is sexually receptive. Or, males may simply require greater
salivary exchange to facilitate assessments of female fertility,”
explains Susan Hughes, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at
Albright College in Reading, Pennsylvania, and one of the study’s
co-authors.
Breath odor and saliva, some studies suggest, may provide clues to
a woman’s fertility.
The rise in estrogen that occurs near the onset
of menstruation triggers the shedding of body cells, and an
increase in sulfur compounds in the mouth, each of which could
cause unpleasant odors, Hughes explains. “Furthermore, females
produce certain distinctive yet odorless molecules in saliva while
ovulating that might be detected by males during kissing.” And male
saliva contains measurable amounts of testosterone, which can
affect libido. In other words, a kiss may “transmit[s] a sumptuous
supply of data ranging from health, fertility, and commitment to
sexual receptivity” as senior author Gallup told the Albany Times
Union.
Isn’t It Romantic?
The earliest documentation of kissing dates as far back as 1500
B.C. Vedic Sanskrit texts from India refer to the custom of rubbing
and pressing noses together as a sign of affection, especially
between lovers, reports Vaughn Bryant, Ph.D., professor of
anthropology at Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas,
who has been researching kissing for over three decades. For the
next few hundred years, other cultures also documented kissing. And
then, in the 5th century A.D. or earlier, a holy man named
Vatsyayana wrote the well-known text, the Kama Sutra. Bryant says
that within the Kama Sutra there are more than 200 “sutras,” or
passages, devoted to an explanation of how one should kiss a lover,
including remarks on what response should be made by the one who is
being kissed (i.e. quivering of the lower lip).
From there, kissing spread throughout cultures. The Greeks saw the
kiss as a symbol of subordination and respect, says Bryant, who
adds that it’s the Romans who should get the credit for
popularizing the kiss throughout the Western world. The Romans,
like the Greeks, greeted friends with kisses. But it was the early
Christians who institutionalized kissing as a custom to seal a
marriage—a “business kiss,” if you will.
Can a Kiss (Or More) a Day Keep the Doctor
Away?
Whether or not it’s a prelude to pregnancy, a kiss can have “a
number of health benefits,” claims Demirjian. “It can literally
relieve headaches. [Kissing] puts you in a state of contentment. It
lowers your blood pressure, makes your skin glow, makes you feel
loved.”
In a study in Germany, men who kissed their wives before going to
work lived an average of five years longer than those men who
received no kiss, says Bryant.
And, of course, a kiss primes the body for the sexual act that may
follow.
“When you start kissing, the minute your lips
are stimulated it starts sending signals to the brain,” says
Demirjian. “Once the brain gets the signals that kissing is
starting, it starts telling the heart to beat faster, the lungs to
pump with more air, sex organs are looking to get stimulated, your
arteries and veins dilate.... The anticipation of making love
really does start with the kiss.”
In short, some serious kissing not only can improve your physical
health but also your mental state of being, which could translate
to possibly having an easier time at conception in the long
run.
“Because intimacy and a couple’s desire to conceive are so
inextricably entwined, passion is often an unnecessary sacrifice in
the quest to start a family,” admits Sharon B. Jaffe, M.D., an
infertility specialist at The Center for Reproductive Medicine in
Orlando, Florida. “When it gets to this point, couples need to
stop, take a deep breath, and remember why they started this
journey in the first place.”
Kissing is one of the easiest things a couple can do to strengthen
their bond. “Kissing is portable, biodegradable, and has a long
shelf life,” Demirjian says. “It’s the universal tie that binds
us.”
