Is it possible that our relational preferences might not reflect what’s ultimately best for us?

Is it possible that our relational preferences don't reflect what’s ultimately best for us?

I try to respect people’s expressed relational preferences as much as possible, but I have to admit that as I’ve grown, I’ve come to the realization that my personal relational preferences really only seem to reflect what I “THINK” I want and not necessarily reflective of what’s ultimately best for me. I have to ask myself, has my strict relational preferences caused me to overlook some potential partners with whom I could have had a wonderful intimate relationship with?

For example; my preferences do not include women with Orange hair because visually speaking, I find that I’m simply not attracted to this particular trait. Likewise, I find I’m not attracted to women who are exceptionally skinny. If you’re smaller than a size 8, I might not even notice you on the level of physical attraction. And then before I know it, “Life” happens and throws these two things completely up in the air.

At one point in time, I became close friends with a woman who was a size 4, far skinnier than my preferences would normally allow for. However, over time and in getting to know this woman a little better, I found my preferences opening up a little bit for her. Because I really started to like her as a Human Being, suddenly I realized that I was becoming more and more attracted to her physically. It seemed my increased “like” and “respect” for her gave way to finding her more physically attractive than I did prior to really knowing her.

That said; who’s to say that I wouldn’t someday cross paths with an orange haired woman and after slowly develop a strong friendship with her, maybe I’d eventually find that she and I are falling in love? Here I am with orange hair NOT in my preferences and now I’m in love with an orange haired woman, well, hypothetically speaking anyways.

But I also acknowledge a difference between flexible preferences and my identification with traits that either disgust me or are items that I know will lead to our being ultimately mismatched for each other. For example; suppose I meet a woman who, for the most part, seems to have many fine qualities that I look for in a woman, however, she’s absolutely horrible with money and refuses to allow ANYONE to help her develop a better structured financial understanding and more responsible spending/expense practices. This simply would NOT work for me and I can rely on the expression “Been there, done that” to solidify my belief as such.

So its my conclusion here that relational preferences are often only what we “think” we want and if we limit ourselves to that and that alone, then we could very well miss out on that great love that so many of us hope to experience one day.

So what do you think; if someone has a highly developed sense of “Preference”, is that still only what they “think” they want, or is it possible that some people’s preferences are so finely tuned that they’re actually capable of taking everything within God’s human creation into consideration and developing a sense of preference that’s ultimately THAT correct and accurate?

Wishing everyone a most beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn