Is it healthy to compare your sex-life with your partner to other people’s relationships?

Sexual dysfunction between couples is sometimes poorly diagnosed as problems within their relationship when it could be the result of something entirely different, or not even technically a “dysfunction” whatsoever. When a halfwit relationship counselor recklessly suggests “problems” within a couple’s relationship, many people receive it as though there’s something terribly dooming between them that will eventually end in their divorce. This unfortunately tends to strike unnecessary terror in the minds of many.

To all you bogus relationship counselors out there, you’re absolutely part of the problem and NOT the solution. Be offended if you must and as the expression goes, if you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the dog that barks the loudest is the dog that got it. If you’re pissed, then I guess you’ve been hit! Just say’n,,,

Sexual dysfunction between couples doesn’t have to be the result of anything terribly toxic between them. Sexual dysfunction is actually quite common and can be the result of something completely innocent. Excessive fatigue and stress are two very common work oriented causes of sexual dysfunction between couples. Though this is innocent in nature, it doesn’t invalidate the need to address the issue so that a mutual understanding between couples can be achieved and perhaps they can explore ways of spicing up their intimacy.

But sometimes sexual dysfunction can arise out of personal insecurities that might be sparked by external influences such as internet chat rooms and group forum thread conversations, or maybe these daily soap operas that regularly demonstrate chronic dramatization and dysfunction within fictitious people’s lives. I recently read in a Myspace group forum thread where someone stated that Fox News reported couples having sex 2.5 times per week. Well damn, that’s just all kinds of fantastic, isn’t it? But is it really important to know how many times each week that other people have sex?

That point brings me to what this particular article is ultimately about. In my opinion, it’s unhealthy to a couple’s relationship for a person to focus on a national average that represents how many times other couples have sex. Being that every relationship is unique, different couples are very likely to have sex at different frequencies. And unless a couple actually schedules their sexual experiences with each other, their sexual frequencies could easily vary from one week to the next.

Let’s be real here. If a couple has sex each and every day, does their sexual frequency in itself suggest that they have a quality relationship overall? If you and your partner have sex once every five days, does that simple fact automatically mean that your relationship is inferior to another couple’s relationship just because they happen to have sex every day? Hell No! In my opinion, a couple having sex every day only suggests that they have a strong sense of sexual compatibility, but sexual compatibility in itself is subsidiary to relational compatibility. They might have a great sex life, but the rest of their relationship might actually be a complete nightmare!

Here’s the way I see it. Regardless of what the national average is that represents anything about other people’s sex lives, if you and your partner are mutually happy and at peace with the sexual aspect of your relationship, then so long as the rest of your relationship is also healthy and naturally evolving, then you’ve got something that’s priceless compared to what exists between most other couples. If you genuinely feel that you’d like to have sex more frequently with your partner, that’s perfectly fine, perhaps a loving conversation with your partner about it would yield a favorable outcome. But just because your sexual frequency doesn’t match or exceed the national average accordingly, that in itself by no means automatically implies doom in your relationship.

However, if you do genuinely feel that your sex-life with your partner is suffering, please don’t ignore it. Actual sexual dysfunction between couples is something not to be passive about. Regardless, I sincerely do not believe that the national average of other couples’ sexual frequency ultimately has nothing to do with your own relationship.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn