The real question is what kind of man do you want to represent? Do you want to be a badass who doesn't take s--- from anyone? Do you want to be the 'sweetheart' who is synonomous with "Mr. Yes Please Take A Crap On My Head" guy? Or do you want to be somewhere in the middle who is sweet and nice when his girl deserves it, but is capable of giving a dose of tough love when necessary?
I remember reading from Steven Covey that "change in behavior precedes a change in action." So if we take that one take that even one step further I say "a change in persona precedes a change in behavior". In essence that means that before I take anyones advice on what action to take I first need establish what type of persona I want to represent.
Simply put I have no interest in being a badass. Yeah, the badass picks up and f#@ks chicks, but he also gets the kind of girls that I don't want. Those girls are drama, inconsistent, and simply not who I want to spend my time with. I also have no interest in being "Mr. Yes Please Take A Crap On My Head" guy. I am sure the rational for this choice pretty obvious.
So we are left with the hybrid. Lets call him Mr. Confident. Mr Confident acts like the person that he wants to attract. He calls when he says he is going to call, he sticks to the agreed upon plan, he doesn't need to plan when to return your phone call and does so in a timely manner. Mr. Confident is not 'strategic'. He is loving, authentic, consistent, non-judgemental, reliable, but don't confuse this with someone who is weak. The one thing you don't do is f--- with Mr. Confident. Mr. Confident is OK if you do not embody the same traits as himself. He will not judge you. He will still open the door for you. He will still ask "how are you" and be genuinely interested in your well being. However, he will not date you.
So here I am trying to become Mr. Confident myself. I have just been given the lamest excuse for a non followed through commitment by a 'love interest' (I so love that term). She broke several of Mr. Confident's rules. She took over 24 hours to respond to a friendly overture (a phone call), and then she cancelled without *offering an alternative plan. So what do I do? This is when I realize I need to fully take the persona of Mr. Confident! I can't just act without meaning. If I respond back, I need to fully be who I represent.
My response is simply, "I am pretty surprised you are flaking out, but OK. :) Either way it was great meeting you. You had a nice way about you, you'll make a great teacher. Take Care. Me.
My rational is I am calling her out and not accepting the lame excuse (you'll have to take my word it was pretty lame). I then let her know I do accept this and I am not going to try and convince her otherwise. Then the smiley face to let her know that Mr. Confident does not follow any of the philosophies of Mr. Hurt Guy. Furthermore I acknowledge that it was nice meeting her (because it was), and add a nice compliment that is personalized to her teacher aspirations. This shows really I am definitely not hurt and did enjoy our brief time together. Last the "take care" is synonymous with "I won't be calling you again". The is the part where Mr. Confident shows he is strong and is saying that regardless of her good qualities, she has violated one of Mr. Confident's deal breakers.
As I write this, I realize the most important part is to actually BE this persona. The text was nice enough to make her comfortable to text or call, but if she does, Mr. Confident will not make excuses for the initial display of who she is. He might meet up with her if it is 'convenient', or become friends with her, but there will be no dinner movie combos or anything at all resembling a wooing of a girl.
So will my text "work"? Depends what you mean by "work." If you really mean "will she call/text and try and get together", well who knows, but if you mean "will you date the kind of woman you really want who aren't flakey, are consistent, and embody the type of woman that I actually want"....then the answer is "yes, absolutely."
- Mr. Confident
