He's divorcing me via text... any advice?

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  Posted by REV RUSSELL FOTTER Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:37pm PDT

  goto your church and ask your pastor for counseling it's sometimes the only way to save these kind of relationships maybe you need to talk to his mother and ask her why she's doing this

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  Posted by G Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:52pm PDT

  Easier said than done but, don't worry about it hun everything will be fine. Life goes on.......by the way your avatar is HOT!!!!

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  Posted by Diane Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:59pm PDT

  hopefully he will come around. I wish you the best. It sounds kinda crazy though. He is just willing to let his family go with no reason to you. There has to be a better one then his mother. Good luck.

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  Posted by Autumnstar Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:05pm PDT

  I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but it sounds as if you are doing everything you can on your end. I'm really proud of you for taking that stand about "dating". It sounds like he wants it both ways. You should expect the worst at this point and hope for the best.

  But whatever happens, don't drag this out, and don't allow him to keep you twisting in the wind with no decision. Like you said, it's your life too. Will he even commit to go counseling? I agree with you not wanting to live with your mother-in-law. Once you do that, you are basically giving up your right to run your home the way you see fit.

  I know you don't want to push him, but have you considered it may come to that?

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  Posted by Ms.P Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:12pm PDT

  You have to stand for something sweetie….like you said it’s your life also. Why are you letting him make all the decisions? My husband mother told him the same thing; we have issues with him opening up and communication also. I told him that if we can’t communicate we can’t stay married; I understand your mother told you to deal with things on your own, be your own person etc..but when we said I DO we are one. He is getting better, we have only been married since Feb and I love him in away that I have never loved another man, but we have to be happy. Sweetie stand up to him and his mother if you have to, I said something to my husband in the past about his mom and he told her in my face what I said and looked at me as if I would be scared to stand up to her and I wasn’t. I said yes I said what I said it isn’t right and that’s how I feel. My mother tells me that a man will always love his mother no matter what and to not cross that line or I would leave him. I’m not rude to her I just don’t do her meaning I don’t go out of my way to see her or spend time with her. She spends lots and I mean lots of time with his baby mother and I tell my husband the baby mother can have your mom I have you..lol…I’m saying all this to say what I may have said ten times..lol..make sure your happy don’t let him tell you what he is going to do and you just sit back and wait. If you don’t mind me asking why does he want you to move in with his mom?

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  Posted by Ms.P Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:12pm PDT

  You have to stand for something sweetie….like you said it’s your life also. Why are you letting him make all the decisions? My husband mother told him the same thing; we have issues with him opening up and communication also. I told him that if we can’t communicate we can’t stay married; I understand your mother told you to deal with things on your own, be your own person etc..but when we said I DO we are one. He is getting better, we have only been married since Feb and I love him in away that I have never loved another man, but we have to be happy. Sweetie stand up to him and his mother if you have to, I said something to my husband in the past about his mom and he told her in my face what I said and looked at me as if I would be scared to stand up to her and I wasn’t. I said yes I said what I said it isn’t right and that’s how I feel. My mother tells me that a man will always love his mother no matter what and to not cross that line or I would leave him. I’m not rude to her I just don’t do her meaning I don’t go out of my way to see her or spend time with her. She spends lots and I mean lots of time with his baby mother and I tell my husband the baby mother can have your mom I have you..lol…I’m saying all this to say what I may have said ten times..lol..make sure your happy don’t let him tell you what he is going to do and you just sit back and wait. If you don’t mind me asking why does he want you to move in with his mom?

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  Posted by indegene Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:41pm PDT

  hi jenni Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.Don't just love him, but show him.

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  Posted by donald Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:52pm PDT

  It sounds like he made his dicision but whats to hang on the fence. Most likely he still loves you but is scared. Not sure about the mother angle but I can see the issue with you never seeing each other. That is a hard one to get around. I think this is what is making him cut and run as much as anything. I'm sure it is the best schedule you 2 can come up with but it is bond to be hard on a relationship. Hope you can work it out for what is best for you both.

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  Posted by Mimi Rocks Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:03pm PDT

  Stay strong and stick to your "guns." Hopefully, he will come around but don't forget to get counseling.

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  Posted by ALFIE Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:58pm PDT

  You may love this man and if you can get him to go to counseling then fine but the Uncaring and Weakness that he showed by texting you is a Character flaw and considering hes already grown you can't start over and raise him.Even if he doesn't I think you shoul go to counseling for you need a husband ,not a immature confused person with some serious issues esp in relation to commitment , inner strength and shows confusion to where his responsibility lies-you and the children should be at the top of the list and definitely before his mother. This weakness of character more than likely also reflects in his work etc why should you have to move in with his mother anyway-he should be able to provide for his family(INcluded in family area stepchildren)and if not fully then you should both sit down and maturely develop a plan of action from the present to where you want to be as a family in 1 year-5yeaars 10 years and so on and if some help is available to you esp the children from family services etc then take advantage of it.Love is not enough to form and keep together and take care-physically,nebtally a family. You should foremost consider what is the best path to take for the sake of the children-the step child should not be referred to by him anyone as step but simply your/his child for when he married you he took that child to be his own.I think I would definitely rethink what qualities do you want/need in a husband and father to yours children.In therapy you may also find out why would you wish to accept so easily this serious flaw in his character and why have whatever he decides to be ok with you-you need to take charge of your and especially your children's future for hes shown himself to be lacking esp in a committment to you and the children,a total lack of cpnsideration for your feelings and the children's by texting(what a cowardly deed) Were it me I'd think twice before I'd entrust my children's future to him

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