Love + Sex

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Four Signs That A First Date Is Going REALLY Well

Loyal readers of this blog know that I've been on my fair share of first dates, a much smaller number of second dates, and only one third date. Many of you have accused me of being too quick to close the door, and I see where you're coming from. But I'm a firm believer in holding out for the The Spark, and in my experience it's either there from the beginning or it's not (according to Erin, this is common among guys). So what does The Spark feel like? Well, there's no single definition, but here are four things I look for on a first date:

I'm trying WAY too hard to be cool. When it comes to first dates, I'm generally pretty relaxed. But if I'm really attracted to a girl my mind goes into overdrive and I start over-thinking everything. Am I chewing too loud? Does this pasta make my nose look big? And why the hell did I tell her that joke about the monkey and the transvestite?

I find potential flaws endearing. For someone who is frequently accused of being too picky, when I like a girl she can do no wrong. A few months ago I went out with a woman who was kinda quiet, and I had to work really hard to keep the conversation going. But for whatever reason I felt a spark between us, and so I thought her shyness was cute as all get out. But I've gone out with other women who didn't have much to say and found it kind of annoying. What can I say? When there's a spark I change from Jerry Seinfeld to Richard Simmons.

See our tips: 12 of the Worst Pickup Lines We’ve Ever Heard—and the One Pickup Line We Always Appreciate

I want to order dessert. Even when a date isn't working out, I always do my best not to rush things. But I draw the line at dessert--there's no need to waste the time and calories (Erin has a much different philosophy when it comes to dessert and dating). So when my sweet tooth starts aching I know that I'm hooked.

I'm listening to happy music on my way home. Is there a better feeling in the world than driving home after an awesome date and singing along to "Hooked On A Feeling" or "Love and Happiness". (I actually take the subway home, so I have to quietly hum along.)

What signs do you look for on a first date? How long do you wait for a spark? Can you remember your all-time favorite first date? What was it like? And what music do you listen to after an awesome date?

P.S. Real Women Tell Their Orgasm Secrets

MORE FROM SINGLE-ISH:

Get Glamour Wherever You Go! Follow us on Twitter. Friend us on Facebook. Add us to your Google homepage.
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 24
  • Trini's Avatar
    Posted by Trini Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:20am PDT

    This is very true...even as a woman - when you really REALLY like someone, these things happen...

    - when you come in the house and can't stop smiling to the point your cheeks hurt...

    - Instead of answering "well it was okay" when your friends ask about the date you begin your sentence with "Well" then BIG SMILE.

    - When you actually want the person to kiss you. (Speaking for myself, I don't like kissing unless I've felt that spark)

    - When you keep replaying the date in your head and keep thinking "DAG! I should/should not have said/done that!"

    ...sigh...I miss liking someone LOL

    Report Abuse
  • Aj's Avatar
    Posted by Aj Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:53am PDT

    I tend to have that spark everytime I see my guy even if I am mad at him. I just look in those big brown eyes and see that smooth skin and I am hooked everytime! Gosh sometimes I wish I was not hooked like that, but that man got it going on for me! hmmmm so yes you do have to have that spark when it comes to relationships or it will not truly last! Unless you grow overtime to have that spark!

    Report Abuse
  • Shannon's Avatar
    Posted by Shannon Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:57pm PDT

    Out of all the first dates that I've had my favorite was with my husband, and a blind date at that. We actually met 2 hours before the date to set up where we would meet when I got off work, and also to see who we were meeting. I definitely felt an interest from that first meeting.

    We talked and talked the whole night and the restaurant ended up asking us to leave so they could lock the doors. We went to an all night cafe and talked some more. We never once touched each other, not even when we finally decided it was time to go to our respective homes. Every other first date I'd been on before that the guy had wanted to just go back to their place or mine and hop in bed. It was refreshing!

    We have been married for 6/2 years now and still talk about that first date. And I still get a spark when I hear his voice or see him walk in the room.

    Report Abuse
  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:58pm PDT

    I guess for me the best way I can tell that the date went well is if the guy calls again and asks me out again.

    Report Abuse
  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Mon Jun 29, 2009 5:05am PDT

    Sparks is going out of business.... Sad. :-(

    Report Abuse
  • J~Bean's Avatar
    Posted by J~Bean Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:47am PDT

    Love this!! Reminds me of my first date w/ my boyfriend... and it was pretty much a blind date, or the closest I've been to one. We stayed at the resturaunt untill the lights came on & they were putting the chairs on the tables.. only to leave & continue chatting for 2 more hours in my driveway! But I do remember kicking myself later that night thinking 'why did I tell him that stupid story about the weather ball?!' Needless to say, he apparently didn't mind my stupid story cause were still going strong over a year later! :o) Best first date I ever had.... & honestly, may think it may have been my last first date <3

    Report Abuse
  • kirra's Avatar
    Posted by kirra Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:45pm PDT

    i hold out for that spark EVERY TIME. If that isn't there for me, it's a deal breaker. That unexplainable immense pull/attraction/chemistry must be there for me. I melt everytime I see him :)

    Report Abuse
  • Asile's Avatar
    Posted by Asile Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:43am PDT

    my best date was with the guy before my current boyfriend....yeah, sorry to admit so, but true. it was our first date after having talked for about 2 weeks online. We decided to meet at a museum early in the afternoon and take it from there.

    Though I admit that the visit to the museum was rather boring (we could hardly talk cause we had to be quiet) the rest of the day was perfect. we went to sushi and had a pleasant time. we then went to the park around the museum and just sat by the reflecting pool. he then took me to a nice waterfall in downtown (one that i had never seen), and we stopped for coffee.

    later on, we went back to his place and watched a movie. it never once got sexual, and i was very impressed. overall, it was the most perfect date i've ever had.

    we went on a few more dates following that week, but he soon realized that i got too attached and he wasn't looking for anything too serious.

    he was a real gentleman!

    Report Abuse
  • Cheryl's Avatar
    Posted by Cheryl Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:01pm PDT

    The spark has to be there! No spark and it won't last. If you have to work at liking someone, it's just not worth it!

    My best first date was with my current man! I had liked him for a year, but was dating someone else. We broke up and I waited for 6 months for this other guy to ask me out. He was shy and never did. So I had to go to this Christmas party that I did NOT want to go to, let alone go with out a date. So, I emailed him and asked him to go with. He met me there and we stayed the appropriate amount of time before he asked me to go to dinner with him, someplace quiet where we could talk. We sat for hours talking about everything. He promptly left the next day for a business trip, but texted me almost every day while he was gone. The spark was there for both of us. But being the gentleman that he is, nothing happened, not even a kiss for almost a month! Here it is 7 months later and we are still together and I smile every time I hear his voice or see him. He makes me melt everytime! So glad I sent that email!

    Report Abuse
  • pari's Avatar
    Posted by pari Wed Jul 1, 2009 7:09am PDT

    Hey! watz up/ i'm very sad & feel like a loser,why? because i am in love with my professor in university a 38 year old man(married & has a son)!!!!!!!!! wat should i do? itz abt 4 years and i cant stop it. i never talk abt my love but i think he has aready knows it.help me plzzzzzzzzzz! paria 26

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 24

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

Updates Chatter on Shine…

Love Byte

Skip the multiple-choice quiz, and read up on if you're a mom, a nag, too clingy, or perfect in every way. Aren't we all?