Five ways to know that your husband may be looking elsewhere

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  Posted by dizzy Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:04pm PDT

  Wow. what to say. I have been in a relationship for 15 years.

  the last 9 years have been without any form of love, affection or attention, in fact we don't sleep in the same bed. I have grown out of love with this person. I just met up with my highschool sweetheart. One thing led to another. I guess it can be called cheating. But I have nothing really to cheat on, so to speak. You simply can't judge a person until you walk in their shoes and understand where they are coming from.I never thought that I would do this, but it happened.

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  Posted by dolcezza Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:43pm PDT

  Well I just have to add that once a cheater, always a cheater. If you married your high school sweetheart who happened to cheat on you numerous times BEFORE putting that ring on your finger, what makes you think he's going to stop just because he signed some papers and took vows? And if you married a man who you originally got into a relationship with WHILE HE WAS still in another relationship, then what makes you think you're the first he's going to do this with?

  Ignorance is NOT bliss ladies. Check your spouse before signing over your life to him.

  -Later Gator-

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  Posted by mabcosmic Thu Aug 21, 2008 6:21pm PDT

  Dizzy, I'm sorry for your predicament. I'm sorry, but no amount of "checking" a partner will guarantee that the love will be long or lasting. There's only so much you can do to make sure you are marrying the right person; the rest depends on faith in the future, and faith that the person you chose will continue to invest in having a long and happy marriage. People grow and change as individuals, and often needs and interests take different form. If a relationship has degraded to roommate status, it should probably end for the sake of both individuals before cheating begins. However, I wouldn't say that your situation is damning enough to condemn you for it. You are a human being with feelings and needs that your present relationship isn't investing in at all. That kind of neglect is almost abusive in it's own way. Obviously if your partner was at least trying I'm sure you wouldn't be vapidly philandering to whomever happened to cross your path. Not that you were vapidly philandering anyway, you reconnected with a familiar person who did show an interest in meeting your needs. Yes, it may be wrong to "cheat" even on a partner that obviously doesn't care for your needs, but it's equally as wrong for that partner to completely and utterly neglect one basic need humans have - love. Two wrongs may not make a right but perhaps this may help get your situation out of the inertia it has been in. Best of luck!

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  Posted by cherry Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:35am PDT

  cheaters are helpless souls.... insecure mouse... and horny morons who are insensitive to the feelings of other people... they should be burn alive... hahaha!

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  Posted by Richard Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:50am PDT

  There's big holes in this:

  1. You want unaccounted for blocks...how about WORK? it's all day, lunch hour, afternoon delight, etc. hello? Call in sick but leave for "work."

  2. My browser is firefox and it can clear my cache on every start and quit. I must cheat.

  3. Mobile phone bill (and others) are paperless. I get email telling me there's a new bill. I pay the bills.

  4. I work with women in the office. I can't mention them, not even innocuously? I must be doing them, great, thanks.

  5. If my sex appetite wanes, could it be masturbation? That's the other cheater.

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  Posted by Allswell Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:43am PDT

  I wouldn't say that cheaters are "helpless souls", I think that when you are lacking certain things in a relationship or marriage and you have told your partner countless times what it is that you are lacking and they ignore you, what choice do you have then? Are people just supposed to go on the rest of their lives not being loved? payed attention to?....WTF?

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  Posted by A H Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:57am PDT

  I messed around alot when I was younger but I was the one that always got hurt and now I am happily married so I dont know either way I would like to hear from a male perspective about it. Like what to look for if your woman is cheating.

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  Posted by lys Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:06am PDT

  your info is interesting to note but each individual is different and what may apply for one may not for others.

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  Posted by Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:22am PDT

  "It's usually a dead giveaway when women stop having sex with their mate." A dead giveaway that her mate is being an obnoxious jerk! Just because she doesn't want you doesn't automatically mean she's skanking around with someone else. My husband's personal behavior directly corresponds to how much sex he gets. Even after telling him this, he still doesn't get it.

  For the record, I clear out my browser history because I get tired of my husband snooping around looking for evidence that I am cheating on him. He clears it because he likes weird porn and would probably be embarrassed if I knew what he was looking at (I do).

  While I have previously moved on and not bothered to tell my partner about it (which some would see as cheating, I guess), when I married it was because this guy was the one. I have never cheated on my husband. Even though we don't always get along, I still have respect for him. This article is kinda silly, just fueling the fires of the already insecure.

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  Posted by DEERSLAYER Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:42am PDT

  Why found out? down deep you really do not want to know!!! and when you do fine out, and confront them, then chances are greater to get out of this marriage or relationship....I can do the same thing....cheat....and then we both will be satisfied..but still have our time together also...

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