All this talk about orgasms has reminded me of a subject that I just have never understood. I've been reading up on female sexuality quite a bit lately and was amazed with the responses on a study done by Shere Hite. The percentage of women who faked orgasms during sex was overwhelming to me. I finally understood the reason and pressure for why women are supposed to have orgasms during straight intercourse. No one ever really thought to stop and say, "I'm sorry, my body doesn't respond to that enough to orgasm."
Faking orgasms has built up these high expectations of women who feel inadequate if they aren't able to live up to them. This tends to repeat the cycle of faking the big O, so men think they are doing the right thing when in fact they may not be. I've been through that myself, always thinking what is wrong with me that I'm not able to do this. Not realizing that if I want the right kind of stimulation, I have to find out for myself what feels and works best. Then share this information with my partner so that they can be sure to make the fireworks explode for me during intercourse.
The main reasons given for the big fake out are:
1. To make him happy
2. To get it over with
So I'd like to go over these two reasons. The first one, there are other ways to make him happy in the sack. A little dirty talk can go a long way, and you can even turn it around on him and let him know how much you want to make him cum. As for the second one, if you aren't interested in having sex at that moment, then you shouldn't be doing it. It's your body to do with what you want and you shouldn't feel obligated to spread your legs to please anyone. Doing that can lead to resentment and anger towards your partner, and turn you off to sex completely. Just like your partner should have enough respect for you to take "no" for an answer.
In the end if you still feel the need to fake something, try just faking enthusiasm. Not only will it make him feel like he's king of the world, but may excite you more than you thought. And if he asks you if you came, try some praise and let him know that even though you didn't it was still amazing.
Faking Orgasms 101: Lesson 1, Don't do it
user
- Let’s talk: Comment (12) | Blog
- Email to a Friend
- Print this Page
From the Community…
-
Posted by Wed Apr 9, 2008 10:18am PDT
Report AbuseFaking orgasm is counterproductive because you are teaching your partner to do things that don't work. Positive feedback for negative results. You're going to get more of the same.
And if he ever finds out, he will mistrust everything the two of you have tried up until then, so you are likely to lose ground even on what works. (Let alone if it comes up in conversation anywhere but between the two of you in your bedroom; the humiliation and trust issues THAT will bring out will make the initial problems with orgasms insignificant by comparison.)
Just tell him what you like. Chances are he will be eager to try it out.
-
Posted by Wed Apr 9, 2008 4:42pm PDT
Report AbuseI have found myself faking orgasms too , really to get it over with when im tired or not interested but I want to make my man happy, not to be dishonest, really. Its dishonesty in a loving and caring way, I guess.
-
Posted by Wed Apr 9, 2008 4:42pm PDT
Report AbuseI have found myself faking orgasms too , really to get it over with when im tired or not interested but I want to make my man happy, not to be dishonest, really. Its dishonesty in a loving and caring way, I guess.
-
Posted by Wed Apr 9, 2008 6:25pm PDT
Report Abuse"Its dishonesty in a loving and caring way, I guess."
Yeah but there is such a thing as caring too much. It may seem like the nice thing to do, but really it's hurting both men and women. Like I said, try giving him a little dirty talk instead and tell him how much you want to hear him cum. With faking it, he is going to expect it every time from you because he thinks it's that easy. And if you ever do tell him that you had faked it, he's going to be even more hurt.
-
-
Posted by Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:41am PDT
Report AbuseThis is a great discussion. Far more racy than I can talk about at Good Housekeeping - which is what makes it so interesting to read about. Thanks!
-
Posted by Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:23am PDT
Report AbuseThanks Andrea, glad you enjoyed it =) I love reading your articles.
-
Posted by Thu Jun 5, 2008 2:32am PDT
Report AbuseIT'S ASHAME THAT MEN CANNOT TAKE THE TIME TO PROPERLY PLEASE THEIR THE LADIES.TAKE THE TIME TO EVEN FIND OUT IF THEY ARE BEING PLEASURED AT ALL. PLEASURING A LADY IS MY FIRST PRIORITY NOT PLEASING MYSELF.I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO MAKE A WOMAN CUM OR GIVE HER AN ORGASM.I KNOW THEY DONT FAKE IT BECAUSE YOU CAN BY WAY IT FEELS AFTER SHE HAS EXPLODED.MOST I CAN MAKE EXPLODE AT LEAST 8 TO 12 TIMES.I WOULD RATHER PLEASE HER THAN MYSELF.LADIES TEACH YOUR MAN WHAT TO DO.
STOP SUFFERING
DAVE
-
Posted by Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:43am PDT
Report AbuseMY MAN MAKES MY ORGASM WORKS. IF IT DOESNT WORK IN ONE POSITION THEN TRY SEX IN A DIFFERENT POSITION IT WILL WORK ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. I ALWAYS FELT IT. GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Posted by Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:26pm PDT
Report Abusefaking it is SO wrong. if the man finds out you've been faking, he'll feel like crap. not a good thing to do to somebody considering sex is such an intimate act between two people. if nothing's working, suggest another position or different move. i don't think men are that out of it to know if you're faking it.
leave your comment
You must sign in to post a comment