My ex-boyfriend and I got back together recently. I had given the
situation a lot of thought, and when it came down to it, I really
missed him and our relationship. I knew he missed me too, so we
started talking and when we saw each other again over the weekend,
things went really well. We're both really happy about it.
Anyway, when the two of us were talking on Friday, I asked what he
thought his parents would think about our
reconciliation and if they were upset with me. He said,
"Well, once my mom asked me if I'd spoken to you recently
and when I said no, she said 'Good'." Keep in mind
that things between us were rather serious. When we were together,
which was for 1 year and 9 months (I broke up with him less than 2
months ago) I lived with his family when I wasn't at school. I
had a part-time job in his area since midsummer 2008. His
family's neighbors/friends were very familiar with me. I had
met and gotten to know his paternal grandmother on two separate
occasions when she came for long visits from their native
England.
My boyfriend said he hadn't given his parents any
details beyond the fact that I broke up with him, but he had taken
it really hard. Between knowing that I ended it and witnessing
the way he acted, which he described as being angry a lot in order
to mask his sadness, of course his parents would be wary of me at
the very least. Thinking about it, the only thing that would likely
really get them to trust me again is showing them that I'm
committed to their son. Anything else would most likely be
pointless. They've never seemed like the kind of people to hate
with a fiery vengeance the one who broke their progeny's heart,
but when my boyfriend told me about that exchange with his mom I
cringed. I've never had a problem with a boyfriend's
parents...but then again, I've never been in a situation like
this before--dumping a guy and then getting back with him.
I thought of writing a letter to his parents because I became
incredibly close to them while my boyfriend and I
were together previously. I had come to view them as my future
in-laws, and while I'm not sure they saw the situation exactly
that way, I do know they were very fond of me. It was really hard
for me to view my breakup with my boyfriend as anything less than a
betrayal of them.
Would it be a good idea to write a letter to his parents, or to
contact them in some other way, like by phone? Or should I just not
concern myself with it and let them see for themselves that I
am committed to their son and my relationship with him?
Back with the ex...how to deal with his parents?
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Comments 1-4 of 4
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Posted by Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:26pm PDT
Report AbuseDon't live up to his mothers expectations. SHE HAS HER OWN RELATIONSHIP. His name is husband. Do not "tow-cow" to her. If she doesn't like what your options in life, with her son happens to be, then thats just to bad. Make her respect you, not domineer you.Don't write any letter because you don't owe her an explanation about your romantic choices...just a thought..
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Posted by Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:59am PDT
Report Abusegive it time, the parents want whats best for their son and they obviously were affected by his feelings from the break up. take things one day at a time and eventually your happiness together will prove to them that everything is- and will be, okay. there is no need to explain or talk about your personal life with them, its not their business. its a "need to know" basis. good luck, everything will work out.
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Posted by Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:05am PDT
Report AbuseI would call them and ask them if we could sit down and talk like the adults we all are. Explain to them that you love their son, because like you said he is their prefect child. Tell them you had good reasons to break it off with him even if they dont agree they need to see that you dont answer to them. You don't have to check with them before you make a decision. Tell them you are happy with their son and then give it a few weeks so they can see he is happy with you too. I f they truly care about his feelings and well being they will come around in time. His dad may not take a few weeks but his mom could take years. You never know with mothers. They protect their sons as if no one is good enough for them. Just talk to them and then give it time. Watch how they react to when you are around them and your boyfriend.
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Posted by Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:06am PDT
Report AbuseI would call them and ask them if we could sit down and talk like the adults we all are. Explain to them that you love their son, because like you said he is their prefect child. Tell them you had good reasons to break it off with him even if they dont agree they need to see that you dont answer to them. You don't have to check with them before you make a decision. Tell them you are happy with their son and then give it a few weeks so they can see he is happy with you too. I f they truly care about his feelings and well being they will come around in time. His dad may not take a few weeks but his mom could take years. You never know with mothers. They protect their sons as if no one is good enough for them. Just talk to them and then give it time. Watch how they react to when you are around them and your boyfriend.
Comments 1-4 of 4
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