All the Wrong Men

              I'm definately a magnet for them. More so then ever it seems. And I know that I keep making the same mistakes over and over again lately but I can't seem to stop it. I don't even know what I want anymore. Let's go through the recent list.

The Friend. 
           After knowing each other for years we hooked up. Now we can barely talk. I don't even want to get into all the messy details. We try to still be friends but it just isnt working. Once he got in my pants he lost interest in anything else, game over. And here I was thinking that with his track record he would end up being the one to get clingy, now he can hardly look at me despite the fact that it was all his idea and constant reassuring that nothing would change.

The Rockstar.
          The biggest regret I have in my entire adult life. Had a g/f, wanted me on the side, when that plan didnt work out the way he envisioned he played the "friend card" making sure that I was always near by. Then the g/f was gone, he was falling apart and pulled me in. It was bad, all of it. Never hook up with someone out of pity. Especially when they are intentially playing on that pity. Now the g/f is back and he's again unable to just talk to me without it turning to sex. Pity sex is never good sex, and even without the g/f factor it will never be something I want to repeat.

The Romantic.
         Thinks that if only I were willing to move across the province that we could finally work it out. Never mind that fact that when he lived up the street we couldn't work it out. The sick part is that I love him -- I really do -- but I know one of us will get bored and it will never work out the way he sees it in his head. He love me as best he could, but the relationship would have a shelf life of about three months before one of us bailed, way too many issues in one place. Eventually I'd bail on him just like I've been doing since the day we met. We're great together but I think that's only because we've never gotten into bed together. At this point, I feel like if I travel to see him as a friend, no matter what I say in advance to make it clear we're just friends, by the time I get there he'll think it's going to be more. He tells me all of the time how much he loves me but I  just can't feel the same love for him because I know in my heart it won't work.

The Single Dad.
         As been trying to date me since the night we met at the bar. I was bored. Then I found out that he is another on a long list of common men in my life that also have been a part of another girls life. This would be his baby momma. And oh so much drama, constant court dates, custody issues. He is always so sweet to me but there just isnt a spark between us. Not that I feel anyway. So as sweet as he is, I know after a month I'd be sick of the mess and bored with it all. Because of him, I implimented the rule against dating single dads. It just seems too complicated for all involved at this age, I'm only in my early twenties and if you fall for the man, you end up falling for their child, if it doesnt work, you basically have to break up with both of them, too much drama and hurt.

The Cheat.
         The most recent and possibly most complicated situation. Met him because he hooked up with a friend when they were both involved. I wouldnt even know this one otherwise. That was over a year ago. He's also a dad, single now, older than me which is also all a concern. How could I trust someone I know to have been a cheater? And I've also always prided myself on having never hooked up with someone that a friend had previously. But he says things and....he turns me on. I haven't even seen him because I'm worried about the friend, but he messages my phone and we talk online. So if the friend is over him and he's over her, do I really want to risk it?

        I'm not sure that I want to be someone elses' random lay. But I dont know what I want. Sometimes settling down seems like a good idea. I want someone to curl up with and have all that sweet stuff. But other times I think I'd rather just get laid. So far the random thing has landed me here so I think it's time to stop that and grow up but....why is the worst idea (The Cheat) the one that intrigues me the most? I just want a good guy that can keep me interested in and out of bed.