In the world of dating there are no regulations that help us single folk make sure we are getting it right, and the absence of some sort of written doctrine results in a myriad of problems, some of which cause irreparable harm to a prospective relationship. One that seems to pop up again and again in my dating life occurs when the check hits the table.
Money is a funny thing, the root of many of the world's evils and the cause of many fights and breakups. So with the understanding that I cannot speak for every guy (since some are cheaper, or more frugal or just plain weird), I am a going to spell the bill situation out as I see it.
Date One: Yes, Make the Offer
Dates Two and Three: Actually Making a
Contribution
Out for dinner once again, maybe a movie
this time, or bowling or a dance club, etc. Some money is being
spent somewhere. Again offer to contribute. Again say thank you
when he insists on paying. However, this time find some way to make
a contribution. Examples: Buy the popcorn at a movie, buy a round
of drinks at a bar, buy some ice cream after dinner. Many guys will
say that is not necessary, but it is definitely appreciated.
Dates 4 and Beyond: Time to Insist
Most men
like when the women take the wheel for a night or two. Once you are
"dating," you should plan a night and insist on paying.
This gesture again is a nice way to recognize that you appreciate
your guy being generous on dates one through x, and now it is your
turn. A nice guy will offer to contribute and it is okay to reject
his contribution.
Variables
(1) You make more money than your
guy; (2) your guy is a student; or (3) your guy is unemployed. In
these cases, I think, you will need to insist of contributing more.
Most guys still want to treat despite these circumstances, but you
need to at least let him know that you are willing to pay. Offer a
couple of times. If he insists on paying, let him for a couple of
dates, say thank-you and recognize that you are with a true
gentleman, one who wants to treat his women right even when it is
tough on his bank account.
Of course there are the guys who will readily take up your offer to pay, ask you for half of the bill, or claim that they left their wallets at home and ask you to pay the whole thing. I can't speak for these men, and hopefully, you ladies won't have to speak to too many of them.
Click here to view the Spark Networks and Single Edition e-vite to "Live the Life You Love!"
