50% Of Women Regret Marrying Their Husbands

From the Community…

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  Posted by Melanie Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:29am PDT

  I think the gem in this story is the idea that questioning your marriage isn't a bad thing, it's an exercise that keeps you involved in "choosing" your spouse. Meaning, that instead of having the attitude that you have no options b/c your married, evaluating your marriage and deciding to stay committed means you're actively deciding to remain married. In essence you're saying, "I still choose you" which is a very powerful message to send to someone you love. If we could only stop worrying that when we reflect on things that it's bad. It's not, it's healthy and I can tell you in looking over my marriage after reading this piece I choose my husband a million times again. Looking back and evaluating reminds me that while things are not always great, they are pretty damn good. Lucky us!!

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  Posted by Ray.Cougar Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:08am PDT

  I wonder what the results would look like if they polled the dudes? I'm willing to bet they'd all remember the last time they had sex at least...

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  Posted by bookwrm531 Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:50am PDT

  I agree with Melanie. It's overcoming obstacles and still feeling, at the end of the day, that this relationship is still worth pursuing. THAT'S a real victory. "soul mate" in the conventional sense doesn't exist, no relationship is free from problems and no one sees eye-to-eye 100% of the time.

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  Posted by Kevin Wed Jul 1, 2009 12:38am PDT

  I think I am more of a geek than my wife would have anticipated, but hopefully she likes that!

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  Posted by Sarah Thu Jul 2, 2009 7:30am PDT

  This is so sad.

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  Posted by AndyB Thu Jul 2, 2009 1:03pm PDT

  given the divorce rate, this headlining statistic is not surprising in the least. nor am i surprised that 72% of women think about leaving at some point. surprised its not higher in fact! who isn't ready to kill the man they love sometimes???

  still, that 50% live with chronic regret is tragic - no wonder no sex, no date nights, etc. who wants to do these things when they don't want to be with that person.

  i say either stay in and really make it work -- even suffer some turbulence along the way - or get out.

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  Posted by Kayda Thu Jul 2, 2009 1:27pm PDT

  These statistics are less than encouraging, but with a lot of work (and luck) happy marriages can still exist!

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  Posted by Nils Thu Jul 2, 2009 2:02pm PDT

  Not surprising but the stats are still fascinating. There will always be problems in a marriage and to think that it will be perfect ALL the time is insane. There are ups and downs throughout a marriage. If you want to be dedicated to one person, make it work. If not, maybe marriage isn't for you.

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  Posted by Mylie Sun Jul 5, 2009 8:59am PDT

  This my friends is a beautiful example of why traditional marriage is crap.

  Sure, it was fine when we died at 40. However, it's not longer plausible in the world we live in.

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  Posted by Joshua Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:22pm PST

  This data should not be a surprise to anyone who has ever been married before. I think esp. with a first marriage, you tend to idealize things simply because you don't have any experience yet. Once you have been down that path and hopefully learned a thing or two, you will think before signing on till death do you part again (how ironic is that).

  From personal experience, women in particular don't take enough time to truly enjoy their single lives and learn who they are before getting married. I know I didn't. Women rush to get married because they are bored or lonely and they see their friends getting married and they feel left out. They get scared they will be alone forever (the thought of being alone terrifies women in a way that it does not for men). We need to explore why women still fear being alone so much.

  Also, previous generations did not have the pie in the sky expectations of happily ever after that the baby boomers and their brethren do. They did not expect marriage to be exciting or sexy, and they were focused on things other than self gratification and pleasure. Marriage to them was a right of passage, a way of stepping up to the plate in societal terms and becoming a mature adult.

  People seem to forget that marriage is not just about two people, it is about society at large. That's why we make it legal. When you say "I do" you are making a contract with society to take care of one another in sickness and in health, and this includes any children you produce. This is why you cannot just walk away if it does not suit you. You have an obligation. If you do not live up to your obligations and take care of one another, then society will have to take care of your children and spouse if they become ill, infirm, or impoverished as we are seeing now with the growing ranks of single mother headed households in poverty.

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