50% Of Women Regret Marrying Their Husbands

From the Community…

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  Posted by springtime Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:15am PDT

  I'm not surprised. Too many women think marriage will be like the movies. Many marriages are sucessful because of the personalities involved. And that is the same reason many marriages fail. If the Significant Other irks you before marriage, it certainly won't change just because there are marriage vows involved. I recently read that most families don't talk anymore. Dad has remote in his hand and kids are on video games. Mom wonders what the hell happened to her life.

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  Posted by oohay Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:55am PDT

  It takes some work, there was a point when my wife and I both regretted our marriage (about the second year) it took a willingness on both of our parts to find a middle ground. We both had to learn to put the others best interest first, which is hard because by nature people are selfish. After we learned to put selflessness into action we both found happiness and love all over again.

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  Posted by Doktor Eevol Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:01am PDT

  And I'm sure the statistics are the same for men. So what? Is this really news? I know people who aren't married who regret being with their girlfriend or boyfriend. I don't think this is about marriage, it's about people having normal feelings during a relationship.

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  Posted by Ahleah G Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:34am PDT

  To put a bit of this in perspective, in a recent study (can't remember if I read about it on Shine or not) there was a positive correlation between couples that have thought about divorcing and happier couples. The interpretation was that considering divorce but deciding to stay together perhaps allowed people to re-evaluate their relationships.

  I think the only issue this study raises is if the regret is short term or persistent. As oohay commented, it takes work. If a couple has fantasies about what marriage will be like, and then are faced with the reality they may regret what they think they gave up. Couples need to communicate these feelings or they won't have a chance to move past them. Oohay, I'm glad to hear it worked out for you.

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  Posted by Sophie_Phoenix Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:46am PDT

  There are ups and downs in all relationships. Like the first poster said, marriage is not like the movies - although the movies only show when people fall in love and then get married. Very few actually show you a lovey dovey couple 10 years later.

  I also agree with the second poster - humans are selfish by nature, or at least we have become that. We are in an age of self entitlement, and it's really damaged our families. My husband deserves to be happy just as much as I do, which means both people need to be making 100% effort.

  The main thing to remember is that NOBODY IS PERFECT. You will find faults in anyone you marry/live with. Find the things in someone that mater to you the most. The rest can work itself out. It's not going to be wonderful 100% of the time, with all that life throws our way, but it should always be 100% team effort to make it the best it can be.

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  Posted by Eddieslilangel Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:58am PDT

  umm marriage aint easy people!!! both sides have to WORK to keep up a relationship. and its not just the husbands job, you have to keep them as happy as you can too. women nowadays expect everything from their guy. sorry people!!!!!

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  Posted by EVELYN Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:06pm PDT

  Well until the right person comes along I say KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!! DO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIGE UNLESSYOU FEEL THAT HE/SHE IS THE ONE YOU WERE MENT TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER. YOU HAVE TO COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER AND KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE...IT MIGHT BE THAT THEY ARE JUST SO TIRED OF EACH OTHER s--- THAT THEY FORGOT WHY THEY GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. LOVE.

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  Posted by Jlowe Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:08pm PDT

  Eddieslilangle.....why should we expect less than everything from men???? God knows they expect lots from us...no one said marriage was easy and I really don't believe women have diluted their reality even if they are in love.

  It is my belief that people rise to the level of expectation so yes I expect a lot, maybe we need to be more clear in defining what makes us happy.....and maybe they do to!

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  Posted by Judge Rufus Peckham Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:10pm PDT

  "Opening up" to a pollster MUST mean that deep down the women who claim to be unhappy really, really, truly mean it, right? Oh, sure. And I've got some swamp land in Jersey to sell you.

  Putting aside the fact that we have no idea how the questions were worded, it can't be denied that saying some snarky anonymouse thing to a pollster furnishes exactly zero indicia of reliabilty as to whether you really meant it.

  Here's the reality: a lot of people marry the best option available -- it's like the NFL draft. To say that you "wish" you had not married your current spouse might mean only that you "wish" there were a better option available. And guess what? There ususally isn't, so live with it.

  And once again, the gender angle is troubling. This entire site is so damn gynocentric, one would think men have zero opinion about anything. We are here only for the "superior" sex to talk about, to analyze, and mostly to criticize. You all better hope more men don't catch on what you're up to.

  Well, here's one man's opinion: quit "opening up" to goofy pollsters and start working more at your marriage. After all, you're the ones who forced us into it.

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  Posted by Mercy Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:49am PDT

  marriage is not a bed of roses,both parties should be committed and keep the love alive

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