TOP Reasons not to have kids and why most people who do
shouldn't have had them:
1. you are a parent for LIFE! many people who have kids
decide they either do not want to be a parents anymore or just get
lazy and stop parenting. many parent even think that when
their kids are adults that their kids will just go away. it
doesn't matter how old you kids are, they will always need
you. you never stop parenting. if you didn't want
them FOREVER then you should not have them.
2. people who have suffered any type of abuse and still wish
to have kids. if you suffered throughout your life, you need
to work extra hard on yourself and go through extensive therapy
BEFORE bringing new life into this world. most people do not
want to work that hard. so once again, if you do not want to help
yourself or live in denial that the abuse or personality disorders
do not affect you, they do. you will screw your kids up even more
than yourself.
3. Time and laziness. People get home from work and are
tired. they are stressed out from their day at work and their
commute back home. since both parents usually work, its hard
to come home to dinner already on the table and everything cleaned
up. of course house work is more work and most people do not
want to come home and do that either, never mind parenting their
kids. most parents are too tired or lazy to continue their
work of parenting when they get home so they stick their kids in
front of thew TV, computer or video games to keep their kids
occupied while they unwind from work. look at our society,
you are not doing your kids any favors by being lazy and taking the
easy way out. if you didn't want to deal with kids when
you got home from work, then you shouldn't have them.
4. Divorce. today, everything is about "ME" and
"MY satisfaction" or "instant
satisfaction" if your not happy, then leave,
right? i hate to tell you, nothing screws up your kids more
than a divorce. you kids do not understand why mommy and
daddy don't get a long or love each other anymore. kids
are selfish and all they want are their parent together. Kids
need both parents and are not better off after a divorce. not
to mention how screwed up they get when parents start dating other
people. this really screws up the family structure.
what do you think happens in nature when a new male takes over the
family? you think he loves and accepts the other males kids
or does he kill them off and make his own? primal
instinct.
5. Babysitters. if you are going to have kids, then why
aren't you going to raise them? parents can't afford for
one spouse to stay home, however when kids are very young they
should find a way. people lie to themselves thinking its ok
to throw their kids in daycare all day and then only see them for
an hour or two at night, when its not. kids want their
parents all the time. they do not understyand that you have
work and pay bills. if you are not around, they suffer.
they end up bonding more closely to the babysitter then to you and
don't even know you. or worse, the babysitters now don't
care and are lazy themselves. look around at the younger
generation trying to get jobs today. most are not hardworking
and spend the day talking or texting on their cell phone.
they have the attitude that should be paid just for showing up.
this is who you want taking care of your kids? its one thing
if once they get older you want to start socializing them with
other kids and start to take up a part time job, but they
shouldn't live in day care from the time they are born to the
time they are old enough to come home to an empty house.
6. A Career OR a Family. it is a choice and no, you can't
"have it all." If both parents have careers then
there is little time left to spend with the family. Women lie
to themselves thinking they can have it all, when you
can't. if you spend your time at home and raising kids,
which is a full time job then there isn't time to put into a
career, another full time job. there aren't enough hours
in the day. if you do one, the other gets neglected.
that doesn't mean you can't put a career on hold and pick
it up later when the kids are grown, but the job market is
competitive and to keep up, you have to stay in the game.
therefore, most women choose not to put their career on hold and
try to have it all. this leads a breakdown in the family and
marriage and can even lead to divorce. Someone should be home to
raise the kids.
7. the myth that you can not "truly" be fulfilled
unless you have children. true, children bring fulfillment to
your life and parents take pride in them, however this is not the
case for everyone. too many parents have kids and wish they
didn't. they say if they could do it over, they wouldn't
have their kids at all. horrible, i know (how do you think their
kids). the thing is, most parents have kids and then realize they
didn't want them. sad, but true. Although, children
can bring fulfillment, then can also bring stress and complication
to your marriage. for some people it works out. they love
their kids, are soo happy and their kids bring them joy and meaning
to their life; for others its only a nightmare come true.
just b/c having kids makes one person happy doesn't mean it
would bring the same fulfillment to another. you can be
fulfilled without kids. so if you are one of those people,
then don't have them b/c once you do you can't get rid of
them.
Top Reasons NOT to have kids
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Comments 1-7 of 7
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Posted by Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:37pm PDT
Report AbuseI do not have kids and knew I should never have them. I agree with all except four and five. I'm confused as to why you would think it would be better for the kids if they family stays in tact. Would if the father or mother cheated and/or started abusing substances or would if they fight constantly and cannot resolve their issues? What kind of message and environment does that provide the kids? I wished my parents divorced. I believe I would have been better off. I think the bigger question is if you do divorce to remain civil and respectful of each other and DO NOT EVER use the children as pawns and/or speak poorly about the other in front of them.
Five. What about a night or weekend away for the parents? I'm sure you only meant daycare and/or nannies, but you didn't mention it so thought I would.
Anyhow, speaking of parenting this is an area I have a problem with. I think too many wives forget or neglect their husbands in this whole parenting process. It's like once the kids come into the picture the husbands are just for pure financial providing purposes only. They are along for the ride and where they were once considered number one they are not even even number two. I think a couple should put each other as the most important part of the family and then the kids because frankly, I think this may be why there are so many divorces.
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Posted by Mon Aug 3, 2009 3:31am PDT
Report AbuseWOW! Im really shocked about this post....I dont agree with most of what you say on this subject, but I their are parts I do agree with. But honestly I think you have some issues with children. And I dont think you have any! Or you had a real bad child hood.
anyways what I want to say is that I am a single young mom. I had my son very young, and I wasnt ready to raise a child but I made a choice, and I wouldnt take one moment back. I struggle everyday but I cant see my life without my son. He changed my life and I think it made me a stronger person. I was with his father for a long long time, but things changed in a second, and I know how hurt my son is, but thats life! I hurt everyday but in the end I am stronger for my son. And that he gives me faith and hope every day. People who dont want kids then that their life but on the other hand people who have kids more or else their first kid, they have no idea what to expect! and thats where they make that choice on being a parent or giving up. cuz in the end thats how it was suppose to be. Things happen for a reason! and one day you will realize all the bad all the good, or anything that has happened in your life will make you the person you were always meant to be. Life isnt easy and I dont think children should grow up thinking it is. Like I said earlier I am a single mom, so I have to work! I have no choice. My son need food, a roof over his head, clothes on his back, no one will give him that but me. He is my life. so i think you have some issues cause some of what you said isnt right. But hey that is your opinion and this is mine.
But I do have to say their are people who dont deserve kids, and if they do have one and they do awful thing to them then that child is better off with out them, and they will learn and learn well. It will hurt like hell but everyone grows up and learn and see how people really are. and life isnt easy.
So to come to it I am sorry you feel that way about people having kids, but you dont know everyone sitution, so for you to assume some things like you said in this post isnt right....and you dont give kids any credit, childrens know more then what us adult give them, there smarter then you or anyone adult thinks.
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Posted by Mon Aug 3, 2009 5:02pm PDT
Report Abusein response to "another hockey fan": #4 is about divorce and people giving up too easily. you do not see marriages lasting 25, 35, or 50 years anymore like they use to. when things get hard, instead of working it out, one spouse or the other leaves b/c its easier than working through it. of course, if the marriage is extremely abusive and explosive, then children should not be exposed to that. then it would then benefit them better if the parent divorced, but either way its bad for the kids. And the kids should not be used as pawns or thrown in the middle either. if it can be done respectfully and the adults can actually act like adults and get along then it is better for the kids. i do know some people who get along better with their ex spouse then they did when they were married.
#5 is about kids growing up and living in daycare; being in day care more than with their own parents. there is nothing wrong with the parents having a weekend away or even a second honeymoon to renew their love and make their marriage stronger, which in turn makes the family stronger and sets a good example of what a loving, healthy relationship is for the children.
Next, i completely agree with the fact that many wives neglect their husbands once they become parents. Relationships are hard work and need constant attention while balancing everything else. I am a firm believer that if the home and home life was taken better care of and people paid more attention to it then there would be less divorce and families would be stronger.
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Posted by Mon Aug 3, 2009 5:11pm PDT
Report AbuseDaisie33: singles moms are the exception to choosing between working or having a career. of course single parents do not have choice. no one said anything about making life easy or letting kids think that. i definitely do not believe in handing kids things, they should have to work for it and earn it. parents do them no favors when they hand them everything and do not teach to take responsibility or to reap the benefits of hard work. kids end up growing up with little or no self esteem and do not know the feeling of pride for their accomplishments when they have never had to work for anything or accomplish anything.
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Posted by Mon Aug 3, 2009 9:10pm PDT
Report AbuseI agree with #5. Children are not supposed to be in day care more than 40hrs a week. I worked in day cares off an on for 10years and there were always kids who would be there there from 6:30am-6:00pm. When your child calls someone else mommy, its time to do something.
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Posted by Thu Aug 6, 2009 2:39pm PDT
Report Abuseok... so I c that you are not a parent and you are just stereotyping people... Ya after i get home from work im tired and yes im a single parent but that does not change how I raise my child. I understand what you are talking about with ppl leaving there kids with sitters and in daycare all the time... ive seen it too, but not every parent is like that... my daughter just turned one and ive been there for her since she was born i barely started having ppl watch her and thats only because im working all day. Other than working hours shes with me and im not to lazy to play with her and pay attention to her and as she grows things arent going to change im just going to keep loving her and help her accomplish her goals.... dont dis single parent.. it is a lifelong resposibility and it is difficult, but we already know that, and we all make our own decisions
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Posted by Thu Aug 6, 2009 6:20pm PDT
Report Abusewho said anything about single parents? i'm talking about married couples. single parents are in a completely different category. i'm not stereotyping anything. i know parents who are like that, there are parents like that and i never said ALL parents are like that BUT many are.
Comments 1-7 of 7
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