Parenting

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by c_stoppa01 Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:41pm PDT

  When I read your title, right off I was like, No absolutley not, you should be married. But after I read what you believe, I do agree with you that the person you commit to and want to start a family with is the right person. I respect that because there is nothing worse than raising a child in a negative marraige, I know, I am a product of that. But having a child could make you less appealing to the opposite sex. Like I would not want to start a relationship with a man that already has children. I would not do the step mother thing.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by sherriepassaro Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:50pm PDT

  I agree 100%. I Chose to be a single parent for all the same reasons.

  I would rather be a happy, successful single parent then a miserable failed divorce'

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by carrie d Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:06pm PDT

  Excellent article! The reason I never got married is because I don't believe in marriage. To me, marriage is overated, if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with that person, then do it. Why do you need a piece of paper to prove that? I applaud those who are married and are happy, I just do not believe it is for me. And I love having my son all to myself and not having to discuss the decisions I make with anyone else.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by whitewaterlady30 Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:21pm PDT

  I found your posting provacative. As a single parent by choice I truly chose...and paid dearly for the blessing of being a mom. My child is the product of the fertility clinic, an EXPENSIVE way to go for certain. When my relationship of 4 years just didn't progress, I chose to break it off and go it on my own. At 40 I didn't have the biological time to wait around to "hopefully" find Mr. Right. I thought long and hard about doing this, prayed for months and spoke to as many people as I could about how it went for them. It is the best decision I ever made! In fact, I only wish I had come to this conclusion earlier in life, as I love being a mom and would love to have one more.

  I do hope to eventually find my prince charming, but if I do not...guess what, we are doing just fine. Fortuneately I have so many male family and friends to fill in for the male figure in my son's life that he does just fine. The point here is that it could be so much worse...SO much worse. I know so many friends that are married and "feel single" when it comes to raising children. Honestly, is it better that the children experience the mom as a maid and caretaker? What about all those really bad marriages out there? What does that do to a child?

  Yet, I will admit that a warm, loving, trusting relationship is the best model for intimacy for your child, so I sincerely hope to find that...for both of our sakes. For now my child will need to watch my brother's marriage for an example of a truly intimate marriage. He and my sister-in-law are in fact the happiest married couple I have ever known, and THAT is what I want. No, I won't settle for less because what I have is pretty good and I know that what I want is out there. And don't think that I have rose-colored glasses on my friend. I KNOW how hard you have to work to have a good relationship. That is why it is important to find someone who you know you want to go to all that effort for!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by philipfam4@verizon.net Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:50pm PDT

  I'm a single parent of three, I feel as long as a child is raised in a loving enviroment, well rounded and isn't isolated,there's nothing wrong choicing to be a single parent.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by joshsmom Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:39pm PDT

  I am a single parent but not by choice. I think that you will do well if you are equipped for parenting on your own. Parenting is nothing to take lightly, but youu already know that from raising your son. I agree with you that it is better to raise a child alone happily than married and miserable. I wish that I had realized there were options before getting into a miserable marriage. But hey you live and you learn.

  Good Luck with your son, Enjoy him they grow up so fast.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by loveispain@rocketmail.com Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:15pm PDT

  I dont think it is wrong sometimes its better that way exspecially if the father is a low life there are all kinds of parents who are single parents by choice sometimes its just too mu ch of a hasal having two parents.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by margo Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:36pm PDT

  I am a single parent by choice. I have two boys, and I have grown by being more independent, I think it will all work out in the long run by my boys watching and learning to be independent themselves. I agree with the article, as long as your children are laughing and enjoying life with there single parent it shouldnt matter. Your children become you by watching you. So if someone doesnt want to date somebody with children, then that is just plain selfeshness. I would rather be happy with just us 3, than a failed marriage or relationship, because I dont want my children to ever feel that they are the blame.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Tawni Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:39pm PDT

  I want to thank all of you who have commented, especially c_stoppa01. I thank you for being so honest about your feelings and not being afraid to share them. If I was able to provide another way of looking at things, I fulfilled my goal. Yes, it is more difficult to find "the one" with me having children, but all I can say is that I'm only looking for one. If he is to be the one for me, he will be able to love the little parts of me I cherish the most...my children. Thank you everyone!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by rlw010274 Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:12pm PDT

  I've been in both cituations. Living with fiance, became pregnant, then decided to "up the date" to marry. Which wasn't even set at that time. Did the Vegas setting, said our "I Do's", daughter born, 2 1/2 yrs. later, struggling to make it work. At 4yrs. of marriage, a divorce. Very bitter, and daughter at 14 now, is resentful. Now, single, unwed, and happy, I am raising a 6 yr.old boy with confidence, strength, happiness, and welness. He is happy, smart, confident, and a joy to eveyone he meets.

  Report Abuse