Parenting

Sunday, November 29, 2009

How old do you have to be to become a young adult?

To each their own, right? That is, of course, you're the child of the entire family.

So I am 21 this year, and I have been living in my own place every time I go to school for the 8 or so months of the year. However the remaining 4 months I usually live back home with the parents. It was sort of the deal I set with them back when I was still in high school.

Every year that I've had to go back home for the summer, I've realized that I'm usually reduced to the status of a 13 year old child. I understand why though: I am the youngest girl in the entire family; this includes my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and of course parents combined. This means, when I come back to my room that I've lived in for my entire young life, I am still treated like one. I can't stay out too late (9-10pm is taboo for me apparently), walk the very suburby and familiar neighbourhood home passed when the sun sets, am forbidden to talk to strangers (even for help or directions), or eat anything for fear I will get fat (yeah, not because I'm afraid, but because SHE'S afraid). "Don't eat that, don't touch that, No she can't have that, aren't you afraid you'll get fat?"

I almost feel like I have to bust out that teenage rebelliousness again. But aren't I passed that yet? I'm REALLY frustrated by my current status and situation with my family. I have essentially adjusted to my life when I was living on campus where I studied and did my work when I needed to, partied and came home when I wanted to, had "relationships" when the moment spurred, friendships with various and random characters I've met, carried on my own healthy and eventful lifestyle with limitations set on my own beliefs and not my family's.

How can I get out of my family's (who I respect and love very much) grasp of holding onto me as a teenage, if not pre-teen, girl, yet still respect them at the same time as a young adult... finally!?


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Comments 1 of 1
  • Mrs. Carol B's Avatar
    Posted by Mrs. Carol B Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:24pm PDT

    Hello dear,

    If you haven't read my other comments on your other posts please go read them first. There is much sage wisdom imparted to you that should preceed this comment.

    Age is not a consideration for being called an "adult." There are many people who's age is 30, 40, 50, 60 and so on who continue to act like children. Being an adult means showing prudence which is thoughtful care, sound judgement, discretion, and cautious wisdom in all situations of life. Adulthood comes with many responsibilities to yourself, family, community and the world at large. When one can see beyond their own desires and needs and to the needs of friends, family, and the community they are becoming an adult. And, trust me, you never stop learning and growing into adulthood. Even at my "old" age I am constantly learning new things, seeing things differently than I thought before, changing in body, mind and spirit. Life is an adventure and you chose the path you take. The path to adulthood comes with many trials, and tribulations all meant to challenge you to becoming the best woman you can be. A woman who holds her head up proudly and is a blessing to the world. Have you chosen a career yet? Notice I didn't say "a job." What you do for gainful employment in this life should be an extension of who are are and something you enjoy doing. I am a Hospice Registered Nurse and I care for the dying. I am honored to be at their bedside, relieving their pain, calming their fears, bathing them and sharing their last breaths on this earth. I do this out of a deep respect for human life. Find what you respect and persue a career in that direction and you will be happy in your lifetime.

    Peace,

    Grammie B

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