Parenting

Saturday, November 28, 2009

How Far Does The Apple Fall? Seeing Your Worst Traits In Your Kids.

by Risa Green (Tales from the Mommy Track)
Remember when your parents used to say things to you like, someday, I hope you have a child that’s exactly like you? Well, I did. And one of the most difficult things about parenthood, for me, is having to put up with my own worst qualities on a daily basis. My son, while a sweet, warm, wonderful kid, somehow managed to inherit every single quality of mine that I have always regretted having. He’s overly cautious. He’s a homebody. He’s a stickler for routine, and uncomfortable in new situations. He doesn’t deal well with change. Fun stuff, especially in a four year-old.

I have often said that if I weren’t married to my husband, I would probably never leave the house. My husband is the one who keeps our social calendar, who makes plans with other couples, who chats on the phone with my girlfriends. If not for him, I would be a total hermit. It’s not that I don’t like going out – once I actually get somewhere, I tend to have fun – it’s just that it’s easier to stay home, and besides, I like being home. Which is okay, I think, for an adult. Because as an adult, I intellectually understand that I am just being lazy, and that if my husband is willing to make the plans, then I am willing to go along with them. But in a four year-old, this quality is not wonderful. In a four year-old, this is what happens when you try to go somewhere:

Me: Why don’t we get out of here and go somewhere? We could go to the zoo, or to the Natural History Museum, or the park…

My daughter: Yeah! I want to go to the zoo!

My son (not even looking up from playing with his Power Rangers): Nah.

Me: Come on, you can play with those any time. Let’s go somewhere.

My son: No, fank you. I just want to stay home.

It’s hard, because as a parent, I know that I should make him go out and do things. But as a person with similar inclinations, I totally get it.

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Risa Green, author of Tales from the Mommy Track on MommyTrackd.com, lives in Los Angeles. In the last four years, she has produced two children, called Harper and Davis, and two novels, called Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib. She is currently working on a third (novel not child).
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From the Community…

Comments 21-24 of 24
  • L's Avatar
    Posted by L Sun Jul 5, 2009 9:37am PDT

    Somehow our familys tree got grafted! As a kid I was always in trouble

    smoking, stealing, drinking - My sister was always precious, just a delightful, quiet child. I now have two kids who (somehow) are wonderful, thoughtful children. My sister has two kids who are JUST LIKE ME!! Difficult, sassy, out-of-control. I almost feel guilty!

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Sun Jul 5, 2009 10:53am PDT

    with your son ask him a day ahead and see what he might like to do , give him some choices, often if kids are part of the decision making they'll be more likely to join.

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Sun Jul 5, 2009 3:10pm PDT

    my son is a SPAZZ like me.......... but he's not my blood son!!!!!

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  • keely t's Avatar
    Posted by keely t Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:34pm PDT

    I've taken traits from both parents, which is really interesting, and I'm also glad I'm not exactly a carbon copy of either parents. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE them with all my heart, but my mom is very good at planning and not necessarily having tons of fun, while my dad is all about a good joke and doing things on the spur of the moment, though he's disorganized and very forgetful (I'm the kid who got left at the school for two hours because he forgot to pick me up). I can plan things, but know when to let go and just have fun! So really, I guess I got the best of both worlds! :)

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