I hate modern animated features.
I hate the bloated 3-dimensional lifelike stuff we get from Pixar and co. I hate the fine-tuned realism, the way creatures swoop down on the viewer in their bursting fiery rainbows of techy-techni 5-dimensional color. I hate the freakily photographic quality they aim for in these things. To me it lacks imagination. And the punny grownup humor tweaks my vibe. The other day I saw a promo on one of Crabtot's DVDs, for Shrek 3 or Ratatouille or one of the other wildly popular movies that I fail to "get." There was a joke in the trailer about contact lenses and health insurance. How is this relevant to children?
I guess these movies aren't really for children. Or at least, they're meant to be for kids with extra lines thrown in to entertain the parents. Whatever. I still don't like them. For all the tech effects, they leave me cold. I've mentioned this before. But I want to talk about it again, now that we have a new version of Horton Hears a Who.
What was wrong with the original? Crabtot loves it and so do I. It's beautifully rendered by animator Chuck Jones, with the 2-dimensional flair that can only come with using imagination over software. And yeah, Jim Carrey is talented, but I had no desire to hear him replace Boris Karloff as the Grinch any more than I'd like to hear him go all spastic as the voice of that sweet little elephant Horton.
I haven't seen the remake of Horton, but not experiencing something firsthand has never stopped me from casting my crabby judgment before. This is no exception. I'm gonna bet it's lame.
Thankfully after an antiquated childhood diet of Mom-chosen animations, Crabtot will herself one day frown upon the latest animated flicks from the box office. Ri-ight. Oh well, for now I control what she sees. And we're skipping this one.
Anyone else feel similarly? Or have you seen and loved the new Horton Hears a Who? If so, sock it to me!
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