Parenting

From the Community…

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  Posted by bYe BYe Mon Jul 7, 2008 3:08pm PDT

  It is easy for me to see the benefits of a child who gets the attention they are entitled to and the patience that helps them learn life. I agree being a child of four and having parents that worked most of the time did make it easier for me to be defiant and dishonest. The plus side of that is that I learned that I did not like to be lonely or a trouble maker. I have two children and through the absence of attention that I got I am able to learn that I can make a difference in my child's up bringing. I can raise my son to have great characteristics. By that I mean I am able to give to my son the life lessons that come along with having guidance. My son is 11 years old and is a great kid. He is a thinker and knows the importance of that skill. The most important thing is commitment to the child, not the latest toys or the tube with the favorite cartoons. It is the involvement and attention that you put into your child. You can do it or society will. Parenting classes can be good especially if the person teaching knows and has the wisdom to teach future parents. It can help, and I believe that some if not most parents need them. I am not trying to sound bias because of my own situation. I have seen the proof unfortunately over and over again.

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  Posted by Jen Singer, Good Housekeeping Tue Jul 8, 2008 5:26am PDT

  I did a little research on the study and found this:

  The study's abstract says: "Furthermore, a significant interaction indicated that infants who were both low in fussiness and high in predictability were at very low risk for future conduct problems." http://www.springerlink.com/content/d20425276315npw1/

  So I guess this means that my two formerly colicky babies are more likely to start a life of crime soon, according to this study.

  According to other reports on the study:

  The study "worked backwards to find associations with the child’s current behaviors and their temperament as an infant."

  For babies, they studied their temperaments, measuring "how fearful, predictable, and fussy there were."

  For children, they measured behaviors including "telling lies, cheating, difficulty getting along with teachers, bullying, and being disobedient at home and/or at school."

  A research digest found the same fault with the study that Charlene did:

  "Limitations? Typically, evaluation of parenting, temperament and conduct would involve pulling together reports from multiple sources (parents, other family, school, independent report)."

  http://camhs.wordpress.com/2008/07/08/infant-temperament-and-parenting-predicting-future-conduct-problems/

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  Posted by audrey P Tue Jul 8, 2008 6:54am PDT

  angela...i'm not sure if YOU read the article! you say the article did not cite that being hungry or tired at different times of the day was unpredictable behavior. however, allow me to paste in here the exact thing it did say..."babies who were often fussy or had unpredictable behavior patterns -- being hungry or tired at different times each day, for instance". it also says, in about the 5th paragraph down "The findings also point to the potential benefits of teaching new parents the skills they need, according to the investigators, led by Dr. Benjamin B. Lahey of the University of Chicago." granted, this doesn't use the exact words "parenting classes", however, it is implied. the author of this little article wasn't unable to comprehend what was written, she was simply pointing out that like most other "research" done, there are too many factors that need to be considered, and if they were considered, then the researchers should have included them in their findings. common sense tells us that if a child exhibits behaviors from birth, they will be there for life. it's simply a matter of teaching the child to control the behavior. as for children who aren't given all that attention vs all those who are...i can show you from my own life experience, that a child can be neglected of all those positive experiences and still have zero behavioral problems and i can tell you of someone i know who was given all of them, and ended up in lots of trouble! as parents, lets stop trying to create these perfect people, based on what society says (i'm sure we all have seen how great the theory on not disciplining your child has worked) and work on teaching them the basic principles, honesty, respect and responsibility, the same as we were taught! my daughter who was given so much attention and affection and still is, was born with a temper problem. this is who she is...so my job isn't to try to change it, my job is to teach her how to control it and to learn that there are consequences to her actions and only she can be held responsible for them! if only i had the time, the money and the energy to conduct my own research....

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  Posted by Jen Singer, Good Housekeeping Tue Jul 8, 2008 1:15pm PDT

  Please, call me Jen.

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  Posted by Teena Wed Jul 9, 2008 1:46am PDT

  I also heard that some foods nowadays, being prepared for the working class family, meaning mostly ready-to-eat, or instant or canned or microwavables, contain a lot of chemicals that lead to the fussiness, among other things. SCARY and it could be true. One cannot put all your trust in the packaging info.

  But on the other hand, there's peer pressure, various types of new diseases that is being discovered, multi-cultural marriages and so many other factors to consider.

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  Posted by Ashlee Wed Jul 9, 2008 2:06pm PDT

  I love how people argue... over nothing.

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  Posted by Jean H Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:12am PDT

  Be a better parent

  http://www.jeanhantman.com

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