Lisa opened her apartment door. There River stood. Her tear stained cheeks and desperate eyes were a far cry from the Amazonian Super Mom that had just stormed out of her work meeting.
“I quit.”
“Thank God.”
River fell into Lisa’s arms, surprising her friend who helped her into the apartment and on to the couch, not before pushing off a half-empty bottle, newspaper, and an orphan baby shoe.
“Is this a bad time, I’m so sorry to come over like this…”
“This is a perfect time. Thomas is out, Grace just went down. I just wish I could have seen the action first hand. Did Captain Charles wet himself?”
River drew in a deep breath. “I can’t believe I made such a scene. Maybe if I go back and explain that Naomi has been teething…I’m sleep deprived…delirious..”
Lisa took River’s shoulders and gave her a look that she usually reserved for Grace when she looked ready to treat a sandbox mate to an angry bite.
“Absolutely not. You’ve been talking about quitting for three years now. After you had Naomi everything changed for you there.”
Fresh tears. River nodded her head, sadly. She was mourning.
“When I started at Green Helps it was like…the fire I’ve always had for the environment, for the Earth finally had a place to grow. I wasn’t a weirdo or a hippie. I was admired. It’s like once I became a mom they totally lost respect for me. What’s that about?”
River reached into her diaper bag/purse and pulled out a cloth diaper cover. She blew her nose into it.
“It’s their loss. Not yours. Think of this as an opportunity, River, to move on.”
“I do, I really do. It’s just that, I’m not mad at them. Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself. I used to be bolder, wilder, more daring,” she looked down at her middle, “skinnier.”
Lisa balked. “Oh come on. If I had your body I’d sell it in the red light district.”
They giggled. The mood lifted a bit. It was cut by the sharp whistle of the steaming teapot.
Lisa stood and kicked through the floor clutter to make her way to the kitchen. She poured two cups of spicy sweet chai and added a splash of cream creating delicious brown and ivory swirls.
Sitting back down next to River she handed her friend a warm mug of comfort.
River smiled weakly. “I’ll find another non-profit to work for. I just wish I’d quit after we paid this month’s rent and caught up on a few bills. What was I thinking? Things are already so tight.”
River shook her black bob furiously the way hopeful souls rattle liquid-filled magic 8 balls hoping for a good answer to a tough question.
Lisa held up a finger. “Wait here.”
She stood up and disappeared into the back bedroom. Grace was sleeping soundly in her Pack ‘n Play. Even though she knew Thomas wasn’t around she still looked right and left before opening the small closet door and pulling down the purple cardboard scrapbooking box. Her fingers pushed back the photos, stickers, and scraps of paper to reveal a bulging white envelope.
Without removing the envelope from the box, Lisa opened the flap and counted out $200.
She quickly placed her stash back under the crafting supplies and returned the box to the shelf. Before leaving she placed a hand on Grace’s chest. The rise and fall of life’s breath in her child’s chest flooded Lisa with maternal satisfaction. One day she’d explain to her daughter that every woman needs to have her secrets.
River looked up curiously when Lisa returned.
“Don’t even think about refusing this,” Lisa said as she pressed the bills into River’s palm.
River opened her mouth in protest but her eyes were filled with thanks, and then again, tears. She hunched her shoulders and squeezed her eyes tight.
When she opened them they met Lisa’s also teary eyes. Lisa quickly pressed her sweater cuffs to her eyes, embarrassed.
“Go home. Kiss Naomi for me. And stop crying! It’s obviously contagious.”
Lisa watched as River made her way down the apartment complex stairs. She smiled and shook her shoulders a bit to help the blood, displaced by River’s massive bear hug, return to her arms.
As soon as she was back in the apartment she felt the hero-woman feelings the morning had left her with slip away and familiar worries begin to bubble up. She knew Dawn wasn’t going to get Thomas a job in her graphic design department. As much as Thomas wanted the work, he didn’t have much respect for the world of fashion design and he’d made it more than clear on several occasions while in mixed company.
She glanced at the microwave clock. He’d be back from the gym in 20 minutes.
All she had to do was explain this to him. And convince him not to resent her or hate her best friend because of it.
