Parenting

Monday, November 23, 2009

A Star is Born on the Internet...Literally!

Have you heard about the woman who's going to give birth live on the internet?  That's right, according to Boston.com, Lynsee (that's two "E's"), a 23 year-old teacher from Minneapolis, is going to bring forth her 1st child live on camera for the whole world to see.

Am I shocked?  Not really.  Grossed out a bit, but not shocked.  She's going to famous.  Really, really famous...for like half a day...maybe longer if she goes for the Petocin.  Now who doesn't want that?

According to CNN in this era of YouTube, Facebook and Reality TV bonanzas, "it seems like everyone wants to be a star and is willing to perform outrageous acts on camera and revel in the attention of strangers."  So why not Lynsee?  I mean, what's a little placenta between strangers? 

So now, perhaps you're wondering, "hmm...I'd like to be famous for half a day - maybe two halves - but how do I let America know that my family is fascinating enough to be worthy of intense scrutiny and media frenzy?"

Well to help you, I have compiled a list of 10 Reality TV show ideas and/or potential "staged" scenarios* that are guaranteed to capture the media's interest and ensure that your family becomes America's next Sweethearts:

1) Have five rounds of in-vitro all at once.  Keep the babies. 

2) Build a small sound stage around your vagina and allow The Learning Channel to film your progressing effacement.

3) "Kidz Kutz" Open a hair salon where Toddlers compete to become a real hair dresser.  Each week a child is told "You don't make the cut" and they must immediately pack up their scissors and run home.

4) Babies compete to become "America's Next Top Baby Model."  Prizes include a 7-page spread in Parents Magazine and a $100,000 contract with Johnson & Johnson.

5)  Sell the rights to your child's life to a network at birth.  They have the right to make choices for your child and film how it all turns out.

6)  Make a rocket and pretend your child accidentally launched it and was headed for the moon.  Week 13, find kid inside watching Nickelodeon.

7) Adopt a tiger.  Let it sleep with you.

8) Make a series of "Babies Gone Wild" videos.

9) "Iron Baby" - Chefs from all over the word compete to make a meal one particularly picky baby will eat.

10) Pregnancy Fear Factor - Pregnant women compete for money by doing shots, smoking cigarettes and eating goat cheese.

* - These suggestions are intended for humor purposes only.  I do not endorse the exploitation of fertility treatments, half-dressed babies, or the adoption of tigers.

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1 of 1
  • The Tedster's Avatar
    Posted by The Tedster Thu Nov 5, 2009 5:20pm PST

    Why is it that only women get to do this crazy effluvium? I feel left out! Maybe some guy will offer to have a bowl movement in protest. LOL God, I hope not. Seriously though, the top 10 list is funnier than flatus in church on one of those hard wooden benches.

    Report Abuse
Comments 1 of 1

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

parenting byte

When entrusting your child's health to a pediatrician, you are bound to have concerns about whether you are picking the right practice or doctor. Here are five questions to ask when choosing a pediatrician.