Parenting

Saturday, November 28, 2009

16 and Pregnant: How One Young Mother Copes

Bristol Palin. Juno. Jamie Lynn Spears. Teen pregnancy is an American obsession, and MTV's new series 16 and Pregnant is satisfying our voyeuristic tendencies with a documentary-style approach to the lives of teen girls, their pregnancies and the aftermath (you know, the baby).

Babble sat down with one of the show's teen moms, Ebony Jackson, who had daughter Jocelyn at seventeen. The Colorado teen, who has since turned eighteen, chatted frankly about the new ABCs: abstinence, birth control and finding a way to go to college. — Jeanne Sager

Can you tell our readers a little bit about your situation?

Well, I'm a senior in high school and I have a two-month-old little girl now. I first found out I was pregnant at the very beginning of my senior year, so it kind of caught me by surprise. Adoption and abortion were never an option for me, just because I couldn't go through something for nine, ten months and then have to hand the baby over to somebody else.

When you got pregnant, was this with a steady boyfriend?

We were dating for about ten months when we found out that I was pregnant. He was really steady, and we were already talking about marriage even before she came along.

So what's happened since?

We got married on June 25th.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Josh is now going into the Air Force sometime in August. He'll be leaving us for basic and tech school; he'll be gone for close to a year.

What are you going to be doing in that time?

I'll be going to college here in the fall. I'll be getting my associate's degree.


"I used to babysit and I had to deal with a four-year-old all the time, and I really didn't like kids!"
Did you get to finish your senior year?

I didn't finish it. My doctor didn't let me go back after she was born, because it was so close to the end of the school year and they didn't want me stressing out. I was down four credits, and you're only allowed to be down two in order to graduate. What they're doing for me is I don't have to go back next year. Instead I'm going to be going to college and taking my high school credits along with my college credits.

It sounds like you've got a lot figured out; did you ever expect to be in this position?

No, I really didn't. I wasn't expecting to have a kid this early. I was the farthest one that you could see being a mommy. I used to babysit and I had to deal with a four-year-old all the time, and I really didn't like kids! I could deal with them, but I couldn't see myself having one . . . until I started thinking about adoption and reading all the adoption stories and wanting to become a nurse. It kind of changed my views about it. When I was younger I couldn't see myself being a mother, but now I am a really good mother — so my mom tells me.

Was it tough talking to your mom when you first found out you were pregnant?

No, she actually thought that she was pregnant first! We're the only two in the house, so our cycles kind of bounce off of each other. It kind of threw off the hormones of the entire household when I got pregnant.

So what was her reaction when you actually broke down and said "Hey, mom . . ."?

She asked what I was going to do, and I said "I'm going to keep it," and she said, "Well, if that's what you want to do, that's your choice, and I'll help you any way that you can." She wasn't really as harsh as I thought she was going to be.

Were you scared to tell her?

I was a little afraid to tell her, but I knew I could talk to her about anything. She's like my best friend.

To read the rest of this interview, visit Babble.com.

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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 61
  • Tammy's Avatar
    Posted by Tammy Wed Jul 8, 2009 9:17pm PDT

    u go girl! i reali admire you for your courage and will power....and having a baby is the most precious treasure that anyone could be given!!!!!! im just glad that you didnt think about abortion. And isha you should tell yours parents because they are the ones who will help you get through this as for the guy you can tell him to go to hell..........hes not wroth being your babies daddy!!!!!!!

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  • First L's Avatar
    Posted by First L Thu Jul 9, 2009 6:08am PDT

    so is this saying that its ok to get pregnant while u r teenager? are u serious?

    well, lets start showing shows about drug addicts who survived while being addicted to drugs!!

    hello!!! where is nation going? 70% of girls that i know got pregnant while in high school. what r the condoms for? idiots!

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  • Nini Poo's Avatar
    Posted by Nini Poo Thu Jul 9, 2009 6:45am PDT

    Ebony was the one girl on this show I was actually impressed with. The other girls-- I just so pity their babies. The girl from TN who though she was eating healthy by eating a chicken sandwich, milkshake and cheese fries--uhg, are you serious? And her boyfriend dropped $500 on a PS3 knowing that money could have been used for baby stuff!!!!

    I don't think this show is saying teen pregnancy is okay, nor encouraging it. It's trying to showcase the hardships teens are faced with and if anything may be trying to discourage it.

    Either way, teen pregnancy is not ideal, but IS a reality. We can't just pretend it doesn't exist and not talk about it.

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  • Kimberly A's Avatar
    Posted by Kimberly A Thu Jul 9, 2009 6:57am PDT

    I would like to let this young Mom know that I first watched her story on tv and thought back then to how exceptional she was. She is an inspiration to all young Moms. She never let her situation deflect from her goals. She will defintely go far in life she is a "go getter" in every sense of the word, she admits her mistakes and moves forward. I appreciate her honesty and hope she will live a happy, healthy and wonderful life with her new family! Congratulations!!!!!!

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  • lovin him's Avatar
    Posted by lovin him Thu Jul 9, 2009 8:55am PDT

    I really applaude her cause man if I was to tell my mama today or tommorow I was pregnant she would kick my ass..she got prego with me at 17 so she says" She don't want me to follow down her path even though I wasn't a mistake"//Well im 18 and Im a sophmore in college so if I was it shouldn't be too much of a big deal..but I don't want one right now I at least want to make it to graduation..lol...but you are a "real woman" to handle things the way that you did.

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  • Taursus's Avatar
    Posted by Taursus Thu Jul 9, 2009 10:37am PDT

    HEY WELL GIRL I WATCH THE SHOW AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YHU ARE THE FULL TIME PARENT AND YOU WAS PUT IN A SPOT WHERE YOU HAD TO PUT WALKING THE BIGG WALK ONLY YOU CAN DO ONCE N YOUR LIFETIME FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD....THAT HURTS AND ITS A BITTER SWEET SITUATION...I WANT YHU TO KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS..YOU HAVE A LONG/SHORT LIFE AHEAD OF YOU AND I HOPE THAT YOU GO BOUT IT THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE..I AM GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY YOU R GOING TO COLLEGE..THANK GOD!! CAUSE THAT BABY DESERVES MORE THEN WHAT ANYONE CAN GIVE HER BUT YOU. SO TAKE CARE OF THAT BEAUTIFUL LIL GIRL! I LOST MY SON LAST YEAR 07/08/2008 AND HAVENT HAD ANOTHER ONE SINCE SO I LOOK AT U AND SAY..SHE IS SO BLESSED..THANK GOD FOR A LIL SUNSHINE THAT YOU HAVE..AND OH YEAH...SEND HER A KISS FOR ME THRU MY EMAIL..MAUHH

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  • Samantha's Avatar
    Posted by Samantha Thu Jul 9, 2009 12:30pm PDT

    Isha.Its hard but you can do it. the guy that got you pregnant isn't worth it... And its your choice wither you keep the child or adoption.. its your choice they have so many resorces for girls like you.. its never to late to change your life or your mind. And the guy dosen't want to stand up... Well hes gonna have to!!!

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Thu Jul 9, 2009 2:40pm PDT

    No baby yet Nini?

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  • Sandra's Avatar
    Posted by Sandra Thu Jul 9, 2009 2:50pm PDT

    Until young women in America learn to value themselves and their education teen pregnancy will only increase. School girls should focus on their education and stop worrying about who is dating who and being "in love." I am constantly disappointed to see such trash on the television and in the theater. Another thing that young people should understand is being married isn't the same thing as being a parent. If couples focused on being couples for just a little while, maybe America could improve the terrible divorce rates as well.

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  • PJ Clean's Avatar
    Posted by PJ Clean Thu Jul 9, 2009 3:29pm PDT

    Many young people have babies early in life that doesn't have to stop everything in your life. I love what this young woman is trying to accomplish in her life. The problem is that most of the time the young woman get stuck in a bad marriage or a very poor life with little to no help or she marries and has more kids with different men which is VERY VERY BAd for kids. They don't know who their daddy is and the mother tells them that her new husband is the Daddy until one day she marries someone else and then he's the new Daddy. Here's the thing The father of your child will always be the Father and nothing can change that if a man wants to be your Babies Daddy then he will no matter who the Father is. If your smart you will not have more then ONE MANS children. OH and NEVER allow your chilren to disrespect their father no matter if they become the Daddy or not. A word to the wise!!!!

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