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“So you don’t want to conquer the world anymore, ha?"
We’d been talking about our careers and in particular, about mine. When we worked together way back when, in my pre-mommy era, I was fairly unabashed about announcing to people that what I wanted to do was run a large company some day. I’m not sure many took me seriously, but that’s what I was aspiring to. Then, even before my daughter was born, I learned more about myself and what I was passionate about and decided that big company world isn’t for me. Instead, I would build many smaller businesses, create new things, go out and talk to thousands of women and share with them some of my ideas about kicking some butt in your work and entrepreneurial life.
My ambition was different but still, it was HUGE. I think if you asked people who knew me to describe me, ambitious or driven would be one of the first few adjectives they’d use. It’s who I was. I once even participated in a study about ambition where they were looking at how things like being an only child (check) and an immigrant (check) affected your level of achievement and ambition in life.
As I thought about the conversation I had with my friend I realized that I sound quite different now. I talk a lot more about how life is short and how I want to make sure that I don’t spend most of it working like a nut. I talk about my desire to figure out a way to live comfortably but in a simpler way, where there are less business trips and late night phone calls and more time playing with fall leaves with my daughter and my husband. I am still ridiculously passionate about creating new things and building companies that inspire women, and I think most of my friends would still call me ambitious, but to use a cliche, I guess I am looking for a much more balanced version of it.
From the hundreds of moms I’ve been lucky to get to know, including our members on Workitmom.com, I know that what I am experiencing is common. Having a child changes our lives, our priorities, and our ambitions. Yet sometimes I feel like some kind of a feminist fraud, as if I am wasting this incredible opportunity that I have and not doing my part in pushing the women’s movement forward.
Nataly Kogan is the co-founder and CEO of Workitmom.com, an online community and helpful resource for working moms.
Read more from Nataly:
Is "Did you vote?" a personal question?Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?
Kids and allowance: To do or not to do?
