Life is Tough

   Last night I went out. Sat at the bar with a cold beer,observing the seemingly happy couples. An older couple entered holding hands smiling and I thought that should have been us. I fully intended to be with her forever. How do things fall apart so quickly right under your nose and you dont see it til  its too late?
   I still talk to her occassionally. Our exchanges are both exhilerating and heartbreaking for me. Its good to see my old friend, but its a reminder of all thats lost when we part ways and go to our respective homes. She on her side of town I on mine. I walk into my empty house and think of the years we lived together here. Theres a memory in every corner, her spot on the loveseat now just a place I throw laundary im putting off. I still find a strand of her blonde hair occasionally and wonder what we were doing when it made its escape. Even the neglected little dust bunnies in the corner speak of her.I've put away pictures of us or at least turned them around,the one of us smiling on her 30th birthday was my favorite, now its a knife through my heart.
    I've mentioned I have a female friend now, she is a very nice lady. My time with her is healing and the only time Sandy is not sneaking into my thoughts.(I am going to call my ex Sandy-not her real name however). I guess with her I am re-validated-shown I am still desirable. I've slipped and called her Sandy once and felt badly for it. So I'll see how this goes.
   Two things I've learned thus far. Nothing lasts forever and loving someone doesn't make them love you too.
p.s.- It won't always be a sad story, I'm due a happy one soon.