Saturday, November 28, 2009

Choice before Crisis, solutions for adult children and seniors

For many women, there is an inevitable fact that we will be the caretakers of our parents.  Your parents may be doing well now but change will happen.  Far too many people face these changes only when crisis happens.  What do I mean by crisis? They get a call in the middle of the night that mom fell down and broke her hip.  It is not so much the fall that bothers you, it is the fact that the fall took place at 10:00 in the morning, and she laid there until a neighbor realized he had not seen or heard from her all day.  That is the part that lingers in our hearts while we are at work. Something needs to be done, she will get out of the hospital, and you need to figure this all out.

Most of us start asking the question what should we, or could we, have done.  Most seniors have a well established long term financial plan.  Most seniors have their wills, and estates all planned for.  With all this planning few planned for their lives, their daily living.  Many believe the only choice they have is an old age home, or living in their house.  Few understand Medicare, Medical, or their VA benefits, and even more importantly how their secondary insurance works with the benefits that the state has.  This is a complicated scenario, and even few long term insurance reps understand it all. 

And what about you.  You still have to go to work every day, pay the bills and take care of your own family.  Perhaps your sons and daughters are getting ready to graduate and college tuition is around the corner.  At nearly 7% the loans you will take out for their education are staggering and last for a life time.  Over the next few months you will need to make a number of decisions.  Decisions that will effect your mother, your children, your job, your social life, and your marriage.  Mom's going to move from the hospital to the Skilled Nursing facility and then where?  Then what do you do? Let's add one more issue.  What is Mom willing to do? You cannot make her do anything. 

Making choices before crisis happens changes everything.  While Mom is healthy and happy the two of you can start learning about the options available for her.  Introduce yourselves to the Council on Aging in your county, participate in seminars on Aging with grace and dignity.  Go on tours of Assisted living, Senior Apartments, and interview independent living help.  Open the discussion, the reality will be that at some point, mom will need help.  If you are a baby boomer, at some point you will need help.  Are you willing to trust your care decisions to your kid?  It is time to start learning, start connecting and making real life decisions for the future.  It is a big puzzle, all the experts have a piece of it, however, you need to put it together.

If you are in Orange County, CA , starting April 17th, we will be having a series of Seminars that will talk about making choices before a crisis happens.  Our first speaker, April 17th, will be Jacqueline Lauder, MSG Program manager for HICAP (Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy of Orange County) HICAP is a part of the Council on Aging and is a fabulous resource.  They have the answers.  Check out all the seminars at www.Senior Motivate 4 Success.com  Click on events! And plan for the future, it is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when.


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