Just yesterday, I got an email from my oldest friend who—having returned to work after the birth of her twins, busted butt at work and landed a promotion—is now struggling to try and strike a balance in her crazier-then-ever daily grind. Of course, she wanted the twins…yes, she wanted the promotion. But, somehow, she now finds herself out of sorts, out of patience, and out of time.
Ah, time. Remember time?
Time was that thing that you used to waste on a Sunday afternoon. You’d get sucked into some kind of Bravo marathon. Or sleep in on a Saturday. Or maybe time was what you set aside for exercise, or getting your brows waxed, or even doing laundry. And now, so many of us are out of shape, with bushy brows, pulling clothes that aren’t “too dirty” to wear.
In any case…my friend’s email got me thinking about how things I had hoped for are now creating dynamics I never considered. A sort of opportunity cost for wanting this to change, move to the next phase. For example:
I couldn’t wait for my oldest daughter to start talking. Boy, that seemed like a good idea at time. Well, she started talking at 10 months and she hasn’t shut up since. Seriously. She talks and talks and talks and talks and talks.
I couldn’t wait for my youngest daughter to get out of the organic baby food phase. I was so tired of the trips to Whole Foods, stocking up on jars of food, stressing about carting around extra jars in case they were needed, spending all the money. Now, two years later, all Carmen will actually eat with any vigor is rice, bread, grapes, and Go-gurt.
I couldn’t wait for the girls to get big enough that they actually want to play together. Lucky me, now they do play together. However, with that comes the incessant bickering over toys, arguments that often end with someone getting smacked in the head with Barbie.
My list of “wouldn’t it be great ifs…” for work and marriage could also fill up volumes. Let’s not get started with those…
However despite all of unexpected challenges, surprising stressors, and lost patience I still feel incredibly lucky. Everyone is happy and healthy. Our house and family is in place and runs with a kind of on-again-off-again harmony.
I just really, really wish that the girls would stop fighting over that stupid Leapster.
