NBC/The Today Show
What emerges from this and other studies is that men are definitely more involved at home, taking care of the kids and doing housework, and are more comfortable with women working outside the home. But balancing a home where both parents work, both sexes agree, is an ongoing negotiation.
The Shriver/Center for American Progress report found that 84 percent of couples today are negotiating the rules of relationships, work, and family. And lots of men, particularly younger men, are happy to do so. "They were raised by working mothers, they want to be more involved with their kids, they don't really like the model they saw with their fathers, but they are struggling to be able to do it all just like women are," Shriver told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
While men are doing more (15 percent of men did housework in the 1960s compared with 30 percent today), 86 percent of women still feel tasked with the majority of housework and child care.and 77 percent of both sexes think working women take on more at home than working men. The study also found that while 40 percent of men say they are in charge of the kids, 76 percent of women disagree they are.
When Shriver asked a group of men whether women "gatekeep men away from being fully involved" with their kids, the men in unison said: Yes.
Lucky to be married to a very involved dad who has always adapted and negotiated to do what we need to do every day to make our family and work lives mesh, I am sure I could be accused of "gatekeeping" on more than one occasion. It's hard to let go of the reins when you feel like the kids and the home are yours, though they are truly ours. With each year, I feel less responsible when the house is a mess, or when we have too many "make-your-own dinner" nights in a row. We're in this together, and the kids know it.
What's happening in your house?
More on Shine:
- Women's studies: How women are changing the workplace and family life
- Dual-earner yin yang is a must at home
