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Thursday, November 26, 2009

To Breed or Not to Breed? Myths About Parenthood.

Yes, we live in a baby-obsessed nation. When do the tabloids not run craptastic cover stories on Octomom, Kate Gosselin, or Brangelina's brood? Then there's the tsunami of celeb-mom photos — Kate Hudson, Halle Berry, Gwen Stefani, toting their stylish tots like the latest It bag. It's enough to make a childless woman feel like an alien. "There's a stigma, especially if women are childless by choice instead of by circumstance," says Laura S. Scott, the 47-year-old married and kid-free author of the new book Two Is Enough. "Childlessness is perceived as being selfish, with a tragic outcome — you'll die alone with 10 cats." But sometimes having babies isn't all it's cracked up to be. We asked Scott — who talked to experts, parents, and 171 childless folk for her book — to bust myths about parenthood.

1. ALL WOMEN HAVE THE MATERNAL INSTINCT. "We think we'll get this burning urge," Scott says. "But many women never feel a desire to have kids, ever."

2. PARENTHOOD MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON. "Better than who? Oprah? Gandhi?"

3. PARENTING IS, BY DEFINITION, REWARDING. For many, yes. For all? No. Says Scott, "Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn't have started a family."

4. IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN THEY'RE YOURS. "If you don't like being around kids, you're unlikely to be more tolerant if they're yours — especially when they throw a fit at Walmart."

5. PARENTING IS THE PATH TO MATURITY. "Our parents were raised to think this, and society clings to the notion," says Scott. "But let's face it: Having kids doesn't guarantee mature behavior." Ever see a dad go berserk on a Little League ref?

Read more Parenthood Myths here.

 

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From the Community…

Comments 1-2 of 2
  • Rowdygirl's Avatar
    Posted by Rowdygirl Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:53am PDT

    I agree ! I'm 48; I don't have kids (wanted them but couldn't have them) and now that I'm older,I'm actually glad.

    Seeing how most of this generation is turning out makes me happy that it didn't happen for me. I do have a nurturing and maternal spirit, but other than that.. all of your topics kind of apply to me.

    I think alot of parents perceive themsleves as "greater than" because they've pro-created, but sorry.. that just doesn't work for me. Having a kid is just proof you had sex, not that you're a great person.

    Report Abuse
  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:33pm PDT

    Yet another article imply that parenthood is nothing. Like it isn't hard work or rewarding. Man all these articles act like kids are less important than your pet fish. I get so tired of all these articles talking about how wonderful it is not to have kids and having kids is a waste of time. Yet when you say being a parent is wonderful and rewarding watch out because people are ready to bite your head off.

    God forbid we actually ENJOY having children and say that. Then all of a sudden you are "close minded" towards those that don't want kids. And yet people who don't want kids have the right to scream it down the street without being "close minded". Talk about hypocritical.

    Here come the angry replies to my comment........................

    Report Abuse
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