By Julie Morgenstern
Editor’s Note: Julie Morgenstern is a New York Times best-selling author and professional organizer. Her fifth book, When Organizing Isn't Enough: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life arrived in bookstores in June.
Most people define clutter as just junk. Sounds simple enough — just toss it, we are told, just let the junk go. But, for some reason, that’s not so easy.
Have you ever heard this parable? A wanderer on a lonely road comes upon a torrential stream that washed out the only bridge for miles. The wanderer couldn’t swim and was afraid to wade across, so he spent several days toiling in the woods to build a small raft. The structure he built was solid and it carried him across the raging water safe and sound. Once on the other side, he thought, "This is a good raft. If there’s another stream ahead, I can use it again." And so he carried that raft for the rest of his life.
As an organizing professional, one of my jobs is to help people identify their rafts. Instead of thinking of these rafts as "junk," I encourage my clients to consider them as a point of entry. These "points of entry" act as levers, opening up room for thought and energy, and allow you to confront an old belief system or fortify your identity.
A point of entry might be an old filing system, the entire left side of your garage, a bad habit (like procrastination) or a professional commitment you (secretly) wish would vanish from your schedule.
What are the "rafts" in your life — the suspiciously stagnant areas in your home, office or schedule? What memories, old attachments or old belief systems has digging through your clutter brought up? Here are 12 typical ones:
* Rarely worn clothing
* Excessive memorabilia
* Overstuffed closets
* Unloved furniture and decorations
* Unread magazines, newspapers, books
* Stagnant piles of paper
* Defunct filing system
* Incomplete projects and to-dos
* Unfulfilled promises
* Burdensome commitments
* Cumbersome roles
* Time-wasting habits
The process of throwing things out forces you to recognize what your attachment is. When I became an empty nester four years ago, after much angst-filled deliberation, I decided to move from the Brooklyn apartment in which I’d raised Jessi to Manhattan. Dismantling our wonderful home was emotional and difficult, but ultimately sweet and celebratory. I was able to select the greatest treasures from that chapter of my life and to create a new home that reflects the next chapter — single, social, active, with a significantly expanded business.
During the big de-clutter, I was surprised to discover myself clutching to two dozen cookbooks I owned — despite the fact that I never used any of them! As a single mom and entrepreneur, I raised my daughter on takeout, homemade pancakes once per year on her birthday and maybe one holiday dinner. Yet I’d always aspired to be the kind of mom who whipped up wonderful meals every night, meals that my daughter would look forward to and feel loved by. As I sat there frozen on my kitchen floor, I realized that it wasn’t the recipes I was attached to — those cookbooks represented the good mom I hoped to be. Letting those cookbooks go meant recognizing that I never became Donna Reed or Martha Stewart, which forced the next question: What kind of good mom had I been? And I could answer that: I created a warm inviting home and spent tons of one-on-one time with Jessi talking, reading, learning and goofing around. She’s a healthy, grounded, self-confident kid who feels very loved, and I achieved that in ways other than home-cooked meals. So, with that insight, I was able to embrace my identity from within and jettison the cookbooks.
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The Big De-clutter: Tips From a Professional Organizer
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From the Community…
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Posted by Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:05am PDT
Report AbuseVery inspiring! I just may go home a clear out a drawer of un-loved items. Consignement store here I come!
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Posted by Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:55am PDT
Report Abuseim so happy to have found ur website. i love to deecorate but have hard time maintaining a routine. even worse, i am a landlord which entails a lot of paperwork which i despise. my motivation is a minus1. jane
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Posted by Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:24am PDT
Report AbuseI can read stuff like this all day then go home to my clutter and watch TV about clutter and not do anything. It all sounds good in theory, but it is very hard to get started. My motivation is I don't want my (future) kids to grow up the way I did and still am. So since I have no kids yet, I'm procrastinating.
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Posted by Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:32pm PDT
Report AbuseWhen you live in a small home it is hard to completely unclutter. As the newly published author of "Learn the 50 States IN A DAY!", I spend my time helping teachers and children for free... which I enjoy. Who knows maybe I'll unclutter my home when I buy a bigger house! Congratulations to all of you who live neat, uncluttered lives. I am definitely not one of you!
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Posted by Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:45pm PDT
Report AbuseLoving my uncluttered life. I have finally had organized my office, then garage, but had no clue where to start in the home. Finally found inspiration from a Marha Stewart show and took off. Granted I have access to any home furnishings or decor item. I like to redecorate every couple of years. Reading blogs like this always offers me ideas and assurance I am not the only one in the same dilema. As for cookbooks, I have a large selection. So what I have done, is to take my Fav recipes and created my own family cookbook. Donated my old cookbooks to the library and the new ones to my kids school. Feels good! :)
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Posted by Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:02am PDT
Report AbuseUnclutter or Clutter...thats the question--I kind of like my clutter---it gives my home the "lived in look"--I too have thrown things out over the years-yet I still have "junk". Since my husband passed away last July-its hard for me to throw anything out! I'm afraid I will regret it when I do--I guess I'm just not ready to let go of my memories--I still have my daughters' coming home from the hospital from 32years ago..stuff like that I can't turn loose of. I also have all of my kids stuffed animals(like I need those?!)but,I can't let them go.
just a sentimental fool who lives in the past!
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Posted by Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:08pm PDT
Report AbuseI want to know the best way to know what to keep or not to keep when it comes to your kids art work and work from school. I have 3 kids and the overload of paper is driving me insane. How do you pick and choose?
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Posted by Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:06pm PDT
Report AbuseI am very good at the de-clutter thing. i have made alot of money clearing out stuff i had that i never opened. My motto is if CAN be replaced then get rid of it. I did make a few mistakes of selling two things that could not be replaced but I learned to slow down and think each item through. Everyone has tons of clutter. I have made thousands and it still looks as though i haven't rid my house of a thing. Amazing the pamperd state we are in.
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Posted by Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:55pm PDT
Report AbuseI have to declutter but just the things I do want to hold on to where can I store it?, there is not much storage here in my lil house.
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Posted by Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:50pm PDT
Report AbuseOne question left in the comments was how do you pick from a years worth of work/art that your kids make? Here's an idea...
pick one with their handwriting- like an essay
pick one with a drawing/or a project
and last pick one where they got a good grade.
That way you can see them in their thoughts with their little kid handwriting- who can forget their retelling of what they did over the summer! You can see how they viewed our world in their drawing at the age- I have never looked beautiful until my little girl drew me looking like a supermodel diva. And last you can impress upon them that accomplishments, even at a young age, were always appreciated and acknowledged by you. So three pages - three kids- for at least their elementary school years (k-5th) equals 36 pages to save in a binder or keepsake box.
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