Manage Your Life

Monday, November 23, 2009

I Realize I've Turned Into My Mother...And I Don't Like It!

Ever had an "aha" moment? One of those moments where something happens and you react the same exact way your mother does? Well in the past week I've been in a journey of re-discovery. I'm working on transforming the relationship I've always had with my mother and her husband (my step dad). My mother is a wonderful woman, she cooks to feed an army (of course she does, she's Dominican), she's one of the hardest working women I know and she loves my brother and I dearly. 
My mother also speaks like she's chopping wood, many times her form of love is by saying the most hurtful things to get us to listen and when she looses her temper...well the safest place to be is as far away from her as possible.
That is my mother, and I love her dearly, but for many years I didn't know how to love her and be happy loving her. I couldn't understand how someone could love the way she does. Well what do you know, I've been loving very much like my mother and I didn't realize it, until I started noticing how easy it is for me to bark instead of speak. How easy it is to say something regarless of how it lands on people. I started seeing how I push people away with a glance.
Yes, I've turned into my mother and I don't like it one bit. I never knew how difficult I've been with the people that love me the most. Until, my mother did something that made my skin crawl. My 81 year old grandmother asked her a question and my mother started answering her but the more she kept talking the more her tone kept getting louder. It got to the point that I had to ask her, "mother, why are you hollering?" her reply, "I'm so used to speaking to deaf people I didn't know I was speaking loud." I said, "mom it's not only the fact that you're hollering, it's also the fact that you're mean. Please stop that, it's not nice."
I don't know if she'll ever change but I will not continue to be the way I've been being. I will cherish, love and respect those who love me and are loved by me and I will take each and every moment to show them just how much I love them. 
From this moment forward I will be ME...Loving, mindful of who I'm being so that I can bring peace in people's lives, starting with the ones closest to my heart!
How Is Your Relationship with Your Mother?
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From the Community…

Comments 1-4 of 4
  • RobB's Avatar
    Posted by RobB Wed Nov 4, 2009 7:58am PST

    Hi Yadi,

    Great blog. I'll be reading all your posts and commenting.

    Brest Wishes,

    Rob

    Report Abuse
  • Yadilsa Jesus's Avatar
    Posted by Yadilsa Jesus Wed Nov 4, 2009 8:14am PST

    Thank you for taking the time to read my blog..I appreciate it!

    Report Abuse
  • AK's Avatar
    Posted by AK Wed Nov 4, 2009 8:34am PST

    nice, i like it...i think i am too, lol

    Report Abuse
  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Wed Nov 4, 2009 4:25pm PST

    I love it, keep up the great writing.

    AA

    Report Abuse
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