Manage Your Life

Thursday, November 26, 2009

How to talk to your husband about retirement

Thumbnail image for couple-holding-hands-2.jpg
There we are--my husband and I, walking into our shared future. A glowing future. One with a lighthouse, beckoning us forward.

At least, that's how I see retirement. Vague, but beautiful. Calm and secure, my marriage solid after 30 or 40 more years--and plenty of money in the bank.

Oh, money! That's right. You have to be able to afford to walk on that beach, and wear those Calvin Klein clothes.

Get money-smart: Tips and advice to boost your financial brainpower!
The other night, after mulling over how far we are from having a treasure chest that will get us to that beach, I brought up the retirement issue with my husband. (It's always my job to bring up money, by the way. I think it was in the marriage vows and I wasn't paying attention.)

So I started with a basic inquiry: "How do you envision our retirement?" Darling.
"I have no idea," he sighed, clearly feeling badgered, after only one damn question!
"Now, ask me how I view it," said I, who was also in charge of dialogue apparently.
"How do you see us retiring?" he parroted.
"I have no idea either," I admitted.

After a minute or two of silence, while we realized that we were both more or less on the same page, i.e. without a vision to guide us into those golden years, those early morning, hand-holding walks down the beach (if there is going to be a beach), we embarked on a really productive discussion.

We don't want to move to Greece, Costa Rica or Florida.
We probably want to live near family--our siblings, maybe our kid.
We hope to be in good health.
We hope to continue writing and editing for years into retirement.

Lesson #1: Before you talk about money with your spouse, especially a giant financial project like retirement, talk about what you want from life, the cinematic view, the texture and structure of it. While our talk didn't cover everything, it did enable us to run some numbers, because now we had a context for what that big word "Saving" might mean in three decades.--This post was brought to you by Forward-Looking Fridays.

Related: 11 ways to change your weight fate

MORE FROM SELF:
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-2 of 2
  • Jo's Avatar
    Posted by Jo Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:11am PDT

    Boy howdy, we've spoken about it constantly for the last three years. Of course we're in our mid-50's. My husband would have liked for me to quit working several years ago & he'd like to retire yesterday. But that's not how real life works. We have discussed where we want to be financially & what we need to do to get there. BTW, for any of you twenty-somethings I have one piece of advice--put money into your IRA or 401/403. The majority of the value of my 401K is from the contributions made when I was younger. Anyway back to what we're doing now--we have a sizable equity loan from paying for our kid's college expenses & 80,000 left on our mortgage. So we are making extra payments on the equity loan which will have it paid off in another 30 months (ya think we're counting down!!). After that, we'll put the extra $$$ towards the mortgage which will get it paid off the month my sweetie turns 62 (I keep telling him that's his b'day present). We've discussed what needs to happen in our lives right now so that we can focus on putting this money towards those loans and are in agreement. We stick with a strict budget. We've done some traveling lately (cruises, Europe) but we plan ahead & save up for those trips. We've also discussed the possibility of moving and will be exploring areas nearby during the next five years. And, finally, that good health thing: we both go to the doctor regularly, try to maintain healthy diets, exercise together (golfing, biking, walking), and TRY to lose some of those extra pounds that insidiously crept up over the past 15 years. But most of all we try to enjoy the here and now while looking forward to the future.

    Report Abuse
  • gyamfi's Avatar
    Posted by gyamfi Fri Aug 7, 2009 3:50am PDT

    hi b

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-2 of 2

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

Updates Chatter on Shine…

manage your life byte

from Target

All kinds of wonderful. Gifts, solutions and savings all in one place. Find every merry solution at Target.