Lately it seems stress has been sneaking up on me at every turn. Work has been stressful from every angle—too much travel, internal politics, challenging revenue goals, and well…just too dang much to do. The girls have been at each other’s throats. Or, rather, Carmen has been at Ava’s leg…biting her (!) during unprovoked interactions. I’m sure a crime scene investigator could match the teeth marks to Carmen’s chompers, even if I did believe “it wasn’t her” as she attests. To top it off, Paul and I have been stuck in a continual communication mis-match for weeks. Even the things that make me happy and provide a sense of self have been making me nuts with stress lately.
Part of this is my fault.
OK…most of it is my fault. I worry about things I can’t control, I drink too much coffee, my normally confrontational coping skills have been worn down in the past few months in an effort to avoid petty conflict. I am tired.
Did I mention the coffee and perfectionist tendencies?
I know I am not alone. Most of us are stuck somewhere on this roller coaster. My main coping mechanism has been to read the entire Twilight series while I have much better things to do (and much better things to read).
So, to try and combat this stress and look for answers, I went to the magic box—otherwise known as my laptop. Helpguide.org had some great tips:
Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the Stressor
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
- Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
- Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
- Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
- Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
Just don’t take away my coffee.
