Healthy Living

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Is television your therapist?

My parents are frantic, trying to get caught up on their favorite show, "In Treatment", before a new season starts. With five episodes a week, that's no easy task. And the way my parents watch this show, each episode is more of an emotional undertaking than passive entertaining.

I get it. "In Treatment" has complicated, intense dialogue, is brilliantly written and beautifully acted by star Gabriel Byrne and a host of actors you will recognize, like John Mahoney, Hope Davis, Blair Underwood, and Melissa George. It centers on a psychotherapist, played by Byrne, and the sessions with his patients in his home-office. It also includes the disintegration of his own family and his reunion with the therapist he sees, played by Dianne Wiest. As you might expect and true to real therapy sessions for many people, the issues are often heavy, not easily unraveled, and sometimes completely unresolved.

I watched the first season but just don't have time (or the premium cable package) to keep up anymore. But my parents, who were instantly hooked after episode 1, have continued watching this second season fervently.

They are so into it, in fact, that my mom actually squealed with delight last night when she told me they were planning on getting in a few DVRed episodes after dinner.

"Wow," I said teasingly. "It's almost like this show is actually YOUR therapy."

She smiled at my snarkiness and then got a serious look on her face.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

What?! Even if she was only half-serious...really?

Then my dad -- a retired social worker who made a long and successful career out of counseling kids and parents -- nodded his head in agreement. After that, they both laughed. A little.

I know my parents get a little too into "American Idol", "Project Runway", "Jeopardy", and even" Access Hollywood" (I know this because they will recount episodes in crazy detail over an otherwise normal dinner), but could they really, truly be using this TELEVISION SHOW for their own emotional processing, discussion, and analysis?

And if they are, is that uncommon? Or even all that bad?

Four new studies reported in an upcoming issue of Journal of Experimental Social Psychology show that watching television does make viewers feel less lonely. Each study looked at different ways people react to watching their favorite shows, and among their findings, revealed that people felt a sense of belonging when those shows are on and helped guard them against negative thoughts, feelings of rejection, and drops in self-esteem.

A study of 45,000 people and an analysis of 34 years' worth of data reported last year that television does provide short-term boosts but can lead to overall unhappiness. The "not happy" people surveyed watched 30% more television than the people categorized as "happy." Researchers noted that the "happy" people were participating in activities that were more likely to produce long-term benefits while the "not happy" people used their time to watch much more TV. This led researchers to conclude "TV does cause people to be less happy."

That also seems to hold true for couples (trying not to think of my parents as I type this part...). Couples tagged as "unhappily married" spent more time watching TV than "happily married couples", who reported having 30% more sex, attending more religious services, and reading newspapers more often.

Even before (and continuously since) these studies, there has been concern that virtual worlds from Second Life to MySpace to Facebook to Twitter will replace "real" relationships, or at least meeting friends, colleagues, and (maybe? possibly?) even care providers like therapists.

Is there a direct line connecting all of these studies with my concern that my parents -- and maybe people you know or even you -- are using television as therapy? No.

But I am wondering if people who are "unhappy" are also the people who would maybe be well-served by the professional insights of a good therapist, and are instead inclined to turn on the tube to get that short-term boost than make an appointment (or twelve) that might bring longer-term benefits.

Are there a lot of people out there who are turning on shows like "In Treatment" to cope with issues or unhappiness rather than turning to a real, live care-giver?

I am not implying in any way that my parents are unhappy individually or as a couple. I just wonder if shows like this make it just a tad too easy to focus on fictional issues and resolution and ignore your own stuff?

I am also not going to make sweeping generalizations about who should and should not be in therapy. That's a personal decision best left between an individual and their doctor.

But I can't help but wonder if perhaps it is time for more television devotees to get out of their recliner and go sit on a therapist's couch for the time it takes to watch one show a week.

Do you agree?

Are you "In Treatment" yourself by watching television?



Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-8 of 8
  • Lizbeth's Avatar
    Posted by Lizbeth Thu Jun 4, 2009 3:17pm PDT

    Miss Ashley, you've knocked this one out of the park! in my humble opinion (as a former shrink). This is so interesting.

    So, my first thought is, yes, people use televsion to replace other kinds of relationships and to feel a sense of belonging. For many people, "my shows" bring out the same kinds of feelings associated with brand-loyalty; they see themselves in there somewhere; for an hour or two they get to be Susan Boyle or Adam Lambert or Holly Madison or on Gabriel Byrne's couch (I'd want to be there and I've never even seen the show! :)

    And yes, cyber-world social sites are replacing real relationships. The relationships are completely ego-centric, in the sense that we can interact when we want, how we want, and with who we want, with complete safety (and sometimes anonimity) and ignore or delete whoever or whatever we find boring or threatening.

    There are some healthy pros to cyber communication (I can keep track of where in the world my mom is and keep up with all 6 of my siblings in a heartbeat, and I love this forum community because it stimulates me)but I think it could have a very unhealthy, opposite extreme.

    As for people getting therapy from tv or computer, here's what I found working as shrink: People will seek only what they want to hear or are ready to deal with. I think tv is more cathardic, as opposed to active therapy. Put it this way, if you compare therapy to a workout, tv is like going to the spa for a mani-pedi and psychotherapy is like busting your butt on the Stairmaster. Both might make you feel good, but your nail polish will chip in a few days, but the lasting effects of Stairmaster workouts make improvements both inside and out.

    The problem with reality (real people, therapy, real workouts) is that they all involve work and pain and personal effort in order to gain unknown benefits. TV is instant, feel-good, gratification.

    The problem is, as you've pointed out, unhappy people watch increasingly more tv and continue to avoid dealing with their real life. So, unlike a friendly 'sit-calm' in which a resolution is magically achieved in 30 minutes, some peoples lives drag on in a Prozac-glazed pergatory that never ends and never begin.

    I'm so dramatic; must be all that tv I watch. hahahaha.

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  • Erica's Avatar
    Posted by Erica Fri Jun 5, 2009 9:40am PDT

    I do love In Treatment, though I'd never consider it therapy. I think good, quality TV is different than just any TV (i'm thinking of reality shows here). Some of it can make you think or process or just be an affirmation of something good.

    My mother is a therapist and she *loves* In Treatment. I bet a lot of therapists/social workers love to see it from a different point of view.

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  • Tara B's Avatar
    Posted by Tara B Fri Jun 5, 2009 9:52am PDT

    Search "Cinema Therapy" - About.com has a great section on it. It's an actual thing.

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  • Holly J's Avatar
    Posted by Holly J Fri Jun 5, 2009 1:49pm PDT

    I know that at the most unhappiest times in my life I was completely addicted to my tv shows, but I feel like they helped me, because they made me realize that I was trying to vicariously living through the characters of the shows I liked- pretty much early reality tv. I wanted to have friends to go out with, I wanted a good boyfriend, I wanted to live somewhere neat---and one day I just decided to do it! I sort of think tv inspired me, but I do have to say that once I got the guts to go after my dream life I spent less time in front of the tube.

    So when I am depressed I sit on the couch but it only last so long. Watching gorgeous woman of all ages, model, own businesses and live their life usually just reminds me how lazy I am being sitting on the couch, and I usually get motivated to pick up my butt and do my own thing!

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Sat Jun 6, 2009 7:28am PDT

    I watch TV only when there is absolutely nothing else to do. I've never even recorded a program, and I should probably sell the DVR.

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  • Allison's Avatar
    Posted by Allison Sat Jun 6, 2009 1:29pm PDT

    If I had to choose between a Television or books I would choose books even though I'm obsessed with LOST, I could still watch it on abc.com ;)

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  • Natasha's Avatar
    Posted by Natasha Sat Jun 6, 2009 11:45pm PDT

    Fascinating. I am a student studying psychology and I have often noted this in my own personality. Most everyone has their shall we say - "vice" that they turn to for comfort, ease, and simply to take their mind off of reality for a moment. Ironically, often it is "reality" shows we turn to. For a while, in my life, I used food for comfort - but when I started to recognize that and started to take action to ease that pain a funny addiction to television came into play and I realized eventually that this was exactly how my own parents self-medicated. We were never a family who went out and played together. We ate and watched TV - every single day. I mean, the habit-forming rituals are astonishing. This was tied into how I felt about love, and it was calming. TV and food were "family time" and what person doesn't want to recreate the comforting parts of their childhood? It is difficult to do but now, when I find myself turning to either a bowl of ice cream OR to flick on the TV I ask myself: "Is something ELSE wrong? Is there something you're avoiding? Boredom? Fear of the future? Insecurity?" Then I try my best to tend to that need in myself in a healthy way if at all possible. But every now and again I find that I simply allow myself to shut off my brain and watch The Biggest Loser. I laugh with them, I cry for the - I follow the completely planned out emotional arc that the show's editor designed for us, and I don't care. Because it does feel good to be able to watch others, judge their behaviors, learn about human beings in an intensely personal way that daily life often doesn't provide. But this article made me think even harder about the consequences of using that as a substitute for real life interaction. It can be so easy to lock yourself away in your little house because you have control there - no one can judge you. There is no risk. There is risk in real interaction. There is inherent fear.

    Thank you for your article - it is shocking how much we have come to look at television as a harmless constant presence in our lives, but in the end, it robs us of so much more than we can even fathom. I now live in a place where I don't have television, which has been good. I've lost 10 pounds, I'm spending more time with real people instead of coming home from a 12 hour workday and crashing on the couch with Project Runway. I think I am better. now. But then . . . there's the internet. Hmmmmm.

    Thanks again. Truly thoughtful writing.

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  • TasselLady's Avatar
    Posted by TasselLady Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:34pm PDT

    I like watching dramas based on reality like CSI and some others like it. It reminds me that there are people who have problems far worse than what I have!!!! It keeps me grounded sometimes, especially shows which teach a good lesson about different things. But this is a very interesting post!!!! Great one!!

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