Back in February, when I first started talking with Redbook about blogging for the Infertility Diaries, I had to decide when I would be done. It was suggested that I declare the end of my first trimester my official end date. I agreed.
Back in February, I never imagined that I would make it to the end of any trimester. I imagined that I'd be blogging about Infertility until I was menopausal. Then maybe I could start a new Redbook Blog - Menopausal Moment, perhaps?
Today I am 13 weeks, and depending on where you look, done with my first trimester. Everything is boring and perfect and moving along swimmingly.
Today is my last day blogging for the Infertility Diaries.
Nobody going through infertility wants to read the woes and jokes of a pregnant lady. I know that. I remember reading some pregnancy things that made me feel all murdery and stabby while I was going through all my treatments. I think it's an appropriate time for me to go.
Because I'd rather not make you feel murdery and/or stabby.
I wish I had some funny words of wisdom, or some really clever way to sign off for the last time, but I really don't.
Infertility is hard. Some people will have babies. Some won't. Some will build a family another way, and some will live child free. No matter what, people will always say stupid things about infertility, and people will never really understand until they've been through it.
Being pregnant after infertility, to me, feels like straddling both sides of the fence. I am going to enjoy every single second of this time and I know how lucky I am. But I can't escape the same feelings of jealousy and irritation that have followed me for the past few years. Family expansion will always be a long, annoying, multi-step, hormonal process for us. At some point, we will be at the infertility game again.
I wish everyone the very best of luck, and I hope you'll come visit me from time to time at my personal blog (click here).
Posted by Jen
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