Ask Fertility Finder: I've had a baby, he hasn't. Whose problem is it?

A question from Laketta for Dr. Robert Greene:

Well, I have a daughter who is 5 years old and I had her when I was 19, but I am 25 now. I am with a wonderful man who I've been with for a year and 5 in a half months and he wants a baby and we have been trying. I was wondering what could the problem be...I don't know if it is me or him. I also heard that stress could also keep you from conceiving so I was wondering what we could do about this situation.

Dear Laketta,

For at least one in three couples having trouble conceiving, there is a "male factor" as a contributing cause if not the main problem. Ironically, men with a low sperm count don't have any clear signs of symptoms that there is a problem. As a result, male infertility is often overlooked until the woman goes through complete testing. You've been very insightful however in piecing together your history. I would suggest that you begin by investigating further.

A basic test for male fertility is now available for in-home testing.

There is a kit called Fertell (www.fertell.com) which can estimate your fertility potential as well as your partner's. There is an even better option specifically for male testing through the Andrology Institute of America (www.aia-zavos.com/home_semen_analysis.html).This kit will allow you to collect and ship the specimen from the privacy of your own home.

If you do find that there is a low sperm count or other abnormal result, don't despair. A man's count can vary considerably from one month to the next. Therefore a single abnormal test is NOT considered diagnostic. It should however increase your awareness and encourage you to follow up with a board certified reproductive endocrinologist or urologist to discuss your treatment options.

Best thoughts,

~Robert

Robert Greene, MD, FACOG
Medical Director
Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine--Northern California

For more advice, check out our book, Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility or ask a question on my co-author Dr. Robert Greene's discussion board, haveababy.com .

Laurie Tarkan is the co-author of Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility and Perfect Hormone Balance for Pregnancy. She writes for the New York Times and national magazines and is also the author of My Mother's Breast: Daughters Face Their Mothers' Cancer.

Check out Laurie's recent post on the Huffington Post.
Toxic Wombs
and infertility related articles:
Lowering Odds of Multiple Births
and
Are Men Overlooked at Fertility Centers

[photo credit: Getty Images]

From the Community…

Comments 1-4 of 4

Posted by Denise Sat Aug 9, 2008 5:41am PDT

none of yui guys problem but it would be blissful to say the least that you guys have a baby together I wil just help make the relationship more riveting just an opinion

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Posted by juicy Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:54am PDT

It could be u, just because you had a baby at 19 doesnt mean you cant be infertile. What contraceptives have u bn using?

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Posted by raskem25 Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:25am PDT

i am having the same problem with me and my husbasd we have been to gether for 6 years,we have one child and we would like to have another but it has not been able to work.i did not know that there are so many people out there with the same problem.i hope that there are more information out there that we can find out.

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Posted by Laurie Tarkan Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:05pm PDT

Hi Raskem25,
You may have what's known as secondary infertility, which means that you've been able to have children, but now are having trouble. Secondary infertility sometimes develops because of aging or hormonal imbalances that develop since you last had children. For instance if one of you have gained weight or have significantly more stress in your life--that may have tipped your reproductive hormones enough to hinder your fertility. It might be worth taking a look at how things have changed, and perhaps doing a self test of your fertility, as my co-author mentioned in this post. By the way, about one in five couples suffer from fertility problems today, so you're far from alone.
good luck! Laurie

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Comments 1-4 of 4

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