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Saturday, November 28, 2009

5 embarrassing moments for even the cutest gym bunny

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I had a moment this past weekend at the gym--an embarrassing moment. There I was minding my own business, working on my triceps, when I heard moaning. This was not run-of-the-mill gym groaning; this was late-night, Cinemax, dirty movie moaning. I obviously did what any normal person would do: I looked for the guy getting off in the weight room. There he was in the corner, not pleasuring himself as I would have assumed, but doing bicep curls. And then it happened. I started laughing. This was not a smirk and a little giggle, this was out loud, nonstop, people staring, can't-finish-my-tricep-pull-down laughing, and I just couldn't stop. It took me a while to recover, especially because with each continued rep this man made sweet love to his biceps, and my inner eighth-grader could not be quieted.

Since I'm perpetually embarrassing myself, the process of it is getting easier, especially the little things. Five embarrassing gym moments that are no sweat:

1. Farting. Treadmill, step class, weight lifting...it happens to everyone. All that jumping around is bound to move something. Luckily, most people are plugged into their iPods and don't notice a thing.

2. The yoga queef. It's like the treadmill fart, only so much worse, so unavoidable, and usually in the midst of a quiet tranquil yoga class. Inverted poses send fear into the minds of women everywhere. Ask your vajayjay to use its indoor voice and get back to plow position. Doing your Kegels can also help prevent this embarrassing moment; one more reason to have personal training for your lady parts.

3. More weight than you can handle. It's great that you think you're a weightlifting warrior. Self-confidence never hurt anyone. But, if you can't handle a weight, there's no shame in movin' on up the stacks of weights to a lighter variety. No one is watching, I promise.

4. Running into someone you know in the locker room-naked. I now know that one of my coworkers has a tattoo on her breast. It's not something I ever wanted to know, but I'm always looking for blackmail fodder. In awkward locker room situations, it's best just to say hi and move right along.

5. Inconvenient sweat stains. Sweaty butt, crotch, boobs--it's not ideal, but if there's one place that you have license to be drenched in sweat it's the gym. You're working hard; even your butt is sweating, be proud and/or consider wicking workout gear.

Guy from the gym: I'm sorry. As for the rest of you: if you have embarrassing gym time moments, please share. It'll make the rest of us feel oh-so-much better.

MORE FROM ELASTIC WAIST AND SELF:

[photo credit: Getty Images]

Related: yoga, sweat stains, queef, locker room, gym etiquette, farting, embarrasing moments

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 10
  • Ace's Avatar
    Posted by Ace Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:26pm PDT

    I'm a student in the martial art of TaeKwonDo. I was learning a spinning heel kick and it's a very impressive looking and powerful kick. I was the only beginner in the class so halfway through my set, everyone else had finished theirs and was watching me. I did a few that were starting to look like what they were supposed to and was feeling pretty good about myself. So I decided to give it my all and go all out. Somehow, I ended up landing hard on my butt facing my target. Immediately after I hit the ground, there was dead still on the floor and everyone was staring at me. The only thing I could do was completely bust up laughing and was followed by everyone else. As I was getting to my feet, a senior instructor said "Don't feel bad, we've all done it learning that kick" and it did make me feel better, but I still was so embarrassed.

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  • Sin_FORRO_sa's Avatar
    Posted by Sin_FORRO_sa Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:02pm PDT

    I don't have the problem because I don't go the gym(I can't afford one anyways). I work out at home with a treadmill I bought years ago when my daughter was born but couldn't use it because she would wake up because of the noise(light sleeper). Recently I started working out again but I can only do it after dinner time so my husband can watch my kids. So, I just go to my back patio, do my workout and NOBODY hears my bodily physiological functions(if it happens)....unless somebody hid a video camera at patio that I don't know about. Nothing is safe these days, people eardrops converstations, spy on computers and who knows....maybe they also hide video cameras at your back patio too. :))

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  • Arturo's Avatar
    Posted by Arturo Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:31pm PDT

    When i get embarassed, it just reminds me that i am only human, just like everyone else. It is quite humbling to experience. Nowdays, i dont have much shame or much of an ego at the gym and if i happen to pass a little gas i just walk away calm and look at people like yea someone farted wasn't me. Is that good or bad?

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  • Susan's Avatar
    Posted by Susan Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:50am PDT

    The other day my husband and I were working out at the gym. I caught a glimpse of him from the treadmill as he was walking to a weight machine and we smiled at eachother...mine was a big goofy truly-happy smile because he just looked really good and this guy working out right in front of him looked at me funny like he thought I was smiling at HIM! I avoided eye contact with that guy the rest of the evening!

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  • Kitten's Avatar
    Posted by Kitten Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:40am PDT

    I was in a Pilates class, doing something that can only be described as "frog legs" while lying on my back. My hips locked and I couldn't move my legs. My instructor had to coax my hips into moving and then she suggested that I stretch more often.

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  • Jennifer Griola--LOST 100's Avatar
    Posted by Jennifer Griola--LOST 100 Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:46am PDT

    After 2 babies in 14 months my PC muscles are shot to sh!t. I was working out with a trainer and she was having me do a bunch of jumps in 3 minutes--I peed a little. She has kids, so she understood, but I was still embarrassed! Kegel-kegel-kegel and I'm still not fully in control at times--argh!

    Jennifer

    www.lost100.com

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  • Jessie's Avatar
    Posted by Jessie Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:54pm PDT

    The sweating is the worst. I run vigorously on the treadmill before lifting weights and I am SO embarrassed in the weight room afterward. I am going to look into some fancy, sweat-wicking gym clothes soon.

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  • tiffany's Avatar
    Posted by tiffany Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:47pm PDT

    I always embarrass myself at the gym, like one time, I wanted to show off at the treadmill, and hitt the speed up a couple of knotches, andI was running at a pretty fast pace... two seconds later, I tripped and fell...

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  • Tom Rooney's Avatar
    Posted by Tom Rooney Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:17am PDT

    From the male point of view; a moment in a gym that was embarrassing is when I spotting just another guy lifting weights. Not a friend or acquaintance but just helping where this person wanted to use the bench-press. He happened to have those loose fitting Nike shorts (you know the ones that are the slippery type with the nylon fabric) and they shifted to one side when he strained to lift the weights. When he did this, and one side of his scrotum became visible. I wasn't able to look him in the face after that.

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  • BargainNYC's Avatar
    Posted by BargainNYC Mon Jan 12, 2009 7:34am PST

    i have a question: i just joined a gym and started to go to the spinning class but OH the CROTCH pains! what should i do about this??? please advise! i'm a girl...

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Comments 1-10 of 10

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