As a child, my mother was the one who did the fighting. Pulling, yanking, and very tight ponytails were all a part of my childhood. Eventually, my mom cut it off into what I like to call a Frollet, a cross between an Afro and a Mullet. This hair cut alone led me to many insecurities about my hair and looks. I had my peers throw things in my hair, I was called many names, with the likes of "mop top" and "poodle head" sticking out in my mind. I remember one time some girls who sat behind me stuck many objects in my hair including pencils, tape, staples, and paper, without me feeling it, only to find out about it when I got home at the end of the day.
I always wanted the hair that all the other girls had...shiny, bouncy, straight hair. I hated the girls with the straight hair. I wanted hair that boys would want to run their fingers through. I wanted hair that you saw in magazines and television. To me curly hair was wild and unruly, the kind of hair that boys dated, but never married.
When I was in 8th grade, my mother finally allowed me to grow it out. Since then I have never cut it short again. But it took a long time before I would let my curls run wild and free. When my hair was long enough, I took to wearing it up. My Sophomore year in High School led me to a stylist who taught me how to straighten my hair. Because of her, I finally got the hair that I wanted. Minus a year where I dated a guy who loved my curly hair almost as much as he loved me, I have worn my hair back or straight.
Until recently, when I had an epiphany on a hot summer morning, when I stood in front of my mirror, a very hot straightening iron in my hand. I realized that my maker would not have given me curly hair unless he/she felt that I could rock it. I got rid of my styling tools. I called a friend with similar hair to find out what products to get. I freed the curls that have been trying to get out and be be wild and unruly.
I am finally accepting the beauty of my curls. I am no longer self conscience about my curls. I no longer feel that unruly and wild curls or personalities are bad things. I get more compliments now, than I ever did with my fancy up-dos or straight hair.
And in a way, I finally feel free to be who I really am.
